Secrets of a Black Heart

GREAT GIFT IDEA!!!

2010-11-24T08:44:00.002-05:00

This year my sister is buying my kiddos homemade crochet hats for Christmas.

I, being the nosey lil' bitch that I am, just had to check out the makers website to see just what my kiddos were getting.

Holy cuteness, Batman! These hats are AH-MAY-ZING!! She has true artistic talent so the hats come out looking exactly like the character you request. My kids are getting Bolt and Mittens. She does Hello Kitty, SpongeBob, the Yo Gabba Gabba gang, and a bunch of other stuff. I personally LOVE the "mohawk" hats. I may just order one for myself so that I can pretend to be cool.

You can email her to make your character request. She will then let you know if it's possible or not. She also does adult sized hats, scarves, booties, etc.

And, or course, it doesn't hurt to mention that she is a single mother. So, not only would you be buying an insanely cute gift, you would also be supporting a fellow mamma who's trying to survive in this tough economy.

Seriously, check her out folks...

Crochet Hats n' Stuff

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2010-11-12T08:52:00.002-05:00

Jeez did I miss Wiggle Iggle Friday!

When I was in high school I heard a song. I heard the song. The song.

I didn't know the name of the song or who sang it, but it haunted me. A few years later a friend's boyfriend loaned me a few of his cd's. The song made another appearance. Stupidly, I never wrote down the name of the song or the artist.

So then, not only did the song haunt me, but the cd artwork did as well. I could hear the music, I could picture the cd, but I couldn't remember shit about the name. Fuuuuuuuck!

Last week, I heard the song on the radio. And the DJ, that kind, sweet, amazing DJ, actually said the name of the artist. I practically tattooed the name of the artist on my arm.

Here is the song that has haunted me for years.

To the Jerk Who Hit My Car...

2010-11-09T09:08:00.001-05:00

And didn't even leave a note...

Fuck you.

NCLB - A PSA

2010-11-04T18:53:00.007-04:00

Last year, I knew nothing about No Child Left Behind (NCLB)...nothing. I figured the school district knew, and they were acting accordingly. Wrong. Wrong on soooo many levels. Turns out my district knew about NCLB, but was doing as little as possible to act under it properly. This affected my kids greatly and so I launched an attack.

Long story short...my daughter, Sugar, was placed in a school across town (we'll call it School A) last year because of limited space in the school districts half-day, pre-k program. School A was not the school she was supposed to attend and I was told that she would be transferred back to her "home school", i.e. the school in our neck of the woods (we'll call it School B) the following year.

Well, School A was a dream! Her classmates were wonderful, the staff was amazing, she just simply felt at home there and I couldn't be happier. So, I started to do a little digging as to what circumstances would entitle her to remain in School A rather than being transferred over to School B. Turns out, School B was a failing school and has been on the NCLB sanctions list for the past 6 years!! Therefore, it qualified for something called "school choice" in which a parent could choose to transfer their child to another school in the district that was not failing and the district would be responsible for paying for busing. I was overjoyed. This was my out!

I wrote the Superintendent a lovely little letter explaining my request. I attached to my letter School B's state report which clearly indicated that it was a school acting under NCLB sanctions. His reply to my letter was not so lovely. As a matter of fact, he not only denied my request, but he denied me for some bullshit excuse that had nothing to do with the info in my letter. It was, in essence, the brush off. I was furious.

I launched into a verbal sparing match with this guy. He continued to stonewall me and circumvent the NCLB rules without apology. I dug deeper into NCLB rules and regulations and found that there was a complaint procedure. I drafted a complaint and emailed the damn thing to practically everyone in state government. I seriously considered contacting the media as well, but held off.

As I suspected, my school district was not operating properly under NCLB guidelines. The state stepped in and forced them to make the proper adjustments. Yes, I ended up getting my kids into the "good school". Yes, I got my way, but this was not just about getting my way.

I wondered, how many other school districts were ignoring the rules and regs of NCLB? How many other parents were forced to send their kids to failing schools because the district did not inform them of their rights? How many parents asked for a transfer and received an unlawful denial? Why should it be so difficult to take advantage of the safeguards put in place to try to ensure a good education for our children? My gut tells me that there are too many.

After what I've experienced, I want to encourage parents to go to their state's department of education website. There you will find your school district's "report card" which will give you test scores of every school in your town. If your child's school has not met was is called "AYP" for three or more consecutive years, then it qualifies for school choice. You should have received notification of the school's failure, as well as a detailed list of options for transfer. Your district is require to offer at least two options, but should be offering as a choice every passing school in the district. Your district superintendent should be working with parents to come up with a restructuring plan to improve student performance. My district was not doing any of this. Is yours??

The Update Post

2010-11-03T09:26:00.003-04:00

I guess if I'm back I should do an update post right?

Well, if you remember, when I left I had just given birth to a baby girl.

Yeah, well, that happened again...I now have four kids. All girls.

Worry not, dear readers, hubby got himself taken care of. The sperm have left the building. I no longer have to worry about getting knocked up. (Can I get a hooo-raaaaaah)

So yeah, to remind ya, I have Sugar, who's 5, Spice, who's 4, Everything Nice, who's 18 months, and Baby Luna, who is 2 months. I'm busy.

Before I stopped blogging my Hubs got a great job and was making enough that we were living comfortably. Since then he has gotten promoted, gotten a raise, and we were doing so well financially that we were able to buy a car to fit our big-ass family and we were tentatively shopping for a house. Then, he found out his company is shutting down in December. Bummer.

He is in the union so he is confident he will be able to find work again right away, but he was warned that the other companies pay on average $4/hr less. So we will once again be struggling to make ends meet...plus we have a car payment AND a new baby. Shit.

I am still working in the legal office and loving it although my available hours to work are limited because of the kids.

I always found myself saying things like "this would be a great thing to blog about" or "I wonder if people still go on plurk". Those things started popping into my head more and more so I figured it was time to make an appearance here in bloggyville. I can't wait to build my readership up again and go full force.

So...what did I miss?

Gearing Up For a Comeback

2010-10-20T11:02:00.001-04:00

I miss you all.

I miss my blog.

I'm coming back...

As soon as I figure out how to fix my layout...I seem to have effed it up royally.

Peace Out

2009-07-29T20:49:00.002-04:00

As you probably guessed...I am abandoning my blog. Simply put, I could give a shit less about it anymore. I just don't have the time or the energy to do anything with it.

HOWEVER...

I miss my bloggy buds and would like to move our relationship out of the bloggy universe and into...

real life **gasp**

I have already started contacting some of you to give you my other email address. (Ya know, the one I actually check on an almost daily basis.) I will continue to do this little by little until I have switched over my entire bloggy brigade to the dark side. *Mwah-ha-ha-ha* If I haven't contacted you yet, don't get your panties in a bunch...I'm getting there. Feel free to leave me a comment here or email me at:

lunanik.secrets@gmail.com

to let me know you'd like to keep in touch. Of course I'd like to keep in touch with as many of you as possible.

I won't be deleting my blog just in case I feel the urge to blog again at some point. I mean, you never know, right? But I won't be posting anytime in the near future so feel free to delete me from your reader if you haven't already.

See you on the other side...

Luna

Caution...Way Too Much Information

2009-05-16T09:25:00.004-04:00

So, at this point in my breast feeding experience, I can shoot rockets of milk across the room. It's an acquired skill I tell you...and its quite amusing actually. Like a weird party trick or something. You know, very...Hey guys, look what I can do! or I betcha I can knock that vase off the table with just a squirt of my...

Anyway...

This being my third breastfed baby, I've had tons of practice. My poor Baby Luna, on the other hand, is not amused. Poor thing has been accidentally squirt in the eye, the cheek, the chin...you get the idea. She's such a good sport though. She just gives me a dirty look and bites down a bit too hard while feeding to get me back.

By the way, you should all be very happy that I am too shy to make this into a youtube video.

IMHO...Random Thoughts on Random Issues

2009-05-07T19:11:00.003-04:00

OCTO-MOM

For Pete's sake...leave the woman alone! Yes, she was dumb to have so many kids. Yes, she was even dumber to have gotten preggers by way of fertility doctor/clinic. And, yes, she was even dumberer to have so many kiddos while unemployed and relying on government aid. HOWEVER, the damage has already been done. She made her choices, she had her kids. Name calling, finger pointing, and the like do no good here. Neither do picketing in front of her home or clamoring for the authorities to take her children away. Taking her children away will not only separate them from their siblings and cause them emotional trauma, but it will also cost the state money to pay for their foster care anyway. So really, is it so bad that these children are allowed to stay with their mother (who obviously loves them despite her questionable emotional stability) and their siblings? Any speculation about her ability to properly take care of her children is just that...speculation. You can bet that after all of the press she has received she has been thoroughly investigated by the authorities, and yet, her children remain in her care. Doesn't that tell you something? How about we all just stop picking on those whose lifestyle choices and family dynamics differ from our own, and focus instead on improving our own lifestyles, our own families, and reaching out to authorities to help those children who are truly being abused by their parents/guardians.

SWINE FLU

I watched the NYC press conference, I've been reading the newspaper, I've been watching the news, and I've been beefing up on my internet research here. My take...the swine flu is being blown out of proportion in a big way. Just another chance for the big-wigs in the pharmaceutical companies to use scare tactics to sell more vaccinations. Don't be fooled...get educated. Read the newspaper, watch the news, get various opinions from multiple sources. Hell, get your ass to the library and read medical journals. Educate yourself rather than fall for propaganda.

KATE PLUS 8 AND THE GREAT CHEATING SCANDAL

When that show first aired oh so many seasons ago, my Hubs commented on how miserable Jon looked. I have to admit...I didn't see it. Sure I saw an overbearing, uptight, and rude wife in Kate, but I figured she was always like that and maybe Jon was one of those guys who liked to be bossed around. Apparently not. Though I do not agree with Kate's blatant disrespect for her husband (with her embarrassing and very public verbal flogging), but, I also don't agree with Jon's cheating. He's right to want out of that relationship...Kate's a bitch, plain and simple. BUT, he went about it the wrong way. Don't flaunt your mistress...file for DIVORCE. His kids are going to see these tabloid pics someday and because of this, I feel terrible for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so, I totally had more to say, but my baby is crying and so I'm off to feed her. It's been so long since I've blogged that it's going to take me a few posts to get back in the saddle. Forgive my rambling thoughts for the time being as I try to steer my brain back onto the pavement so to speak. I've been off-roading on dirt roads for so long now that I can barely remember how to eek out a coherent sentence. Ta-ta for now.

True Love

2009-04-27T15:53:00.004-04:00

Introducing...

Baby "Luna"
8 lbs, 20 inches long

Hey guys! The little lady has finally arrived! Her arrival was fast and furious with my labor lasting only 3 1/2 hours from my first contraction to the minute of her birth. So far, she is the perfect baby. She eats well, sleeps well, and only cries when hungry. My other two girls, Sugar and Spice, adore her and seem to be adjusting well to the new addition. All in all, everything's grand here at Casa de Luna. Hope everyone in bloggy-land is doing well also. Miss you all...be back soon.

Ciao.

By the way...

2009-02-17T14:17:00.002-05:00

It's a girl!

I knew it. I just...KNEW.

My official due date is April 21, 2009.

I recently moved into a new place and am in the process of settling in. My computer and internet are up and running, however I don't have a computer desk at the moment so I don't use it much. As you can imagine, being 7+ months pregnant does not exactly make it easy for me to squat and type. A coupla more weeks hiatus and I should be back with some regularity.

I know you're all just dying of boredom without me. (Snicker)

What up Party People?

2009-01-02T15:33:00.003-05:00

Firstly...Happy New Year to all.

Secondly...I know what you're thinking...where are the baby bump pics??

Hold your horses, my friends, the bump pics are coming. I am about 26 weeks along now and the belly is plump and juicy and full of a bouncing baby that won't quit kicking me. I don't know for sure what the sex is, although I'm almost positive it's another girl based on the way I'm carrying...and I couldn't be happier about that because most of you know that I was dying to have another girl anyway.

My heartburn is awful, I only throw up occasionally now, and my sciatica is so bad I can barely walk sometimes, but other than that, life is just peachy.

My time is consumed by taking care of the kiddos, working, and embarking on a massive credit clean-up so that my FICO score will be mortgage worthy within the next year. I know the economy is shit and times are bad, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let this great buyers market pass me by. The credit cleaning process is interesting and intensive and I've learned A TON about the industry and it's loopholes. That alone is worth blogging regularly about, but I just can't seem to drag my tired, preggo ass to the computer at the end of the day to post about it.

ALSO, I was sued recently by a low-life collection agency. However, being the scrappy little fighter that I am, I did my research on the collection laws, the agency suing me, and the legal process involved in collections and hammered the shit out of them in court until they had to drop the lawsuit and dismiss the case. Ha. Go me. So now, I am also educated in the many laws and loopholes of the collection business and am willing to share this knowledge with anyone facing debt collection or lawsuits. I am not an attorney, nor am I able to give legal advise, HOWEVER, I can point you in the right direction when it comes to information and strategy. So please, email me or stay tuned for my story complete with links to the sites I used to help me defeat the big, bad, collection agency. If I can do it, anyone can...trust me.

I am still living at my father's and despite the fact that living quarters are tight and I'm itching for my own space again, it's tolerable. I really can't complain...much ;) We are looking to move out before the baby comes in April. I just can't fathom taking a baby home to my dad's house instead of our own place. Nope, it just won't work.

That's it really. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. Nothing worth posting about which is why you haven't heard from me. I'm hoping to come back with a bang at some point, but who knows when that point will be.

Until then...

I'm tired...

2008-11-21T14:34:00.002-05:00

And uninspired. And downright bored with posting lately. Can you tell?

When I do post I feel inexplicably guilty because I receive comments from peeps who I have not checked in with for some time.

And so, until I'm out of my funk, I have turned off comments on this blog.

Someday I'll return to reading, commenting, and posting with more regularity. Someday. Until then I will simply use this blog as a kind of journal.

I hope you will keep me in your reader and not abandon me completely because even though it seems I have, I have not abandoned you. My reader is still chock-full-'o-nuts and waiting for me to get off my ass and get to reading.

Later gaters.

Ode to Rubbernecking on the NJ Parkway

2008-10-01T13:22:00.003-04:00

At a snails pace I ride

Five lanes wide

A parking lot at rush hour

But I hang on

Inch by inch

Mile by mile

And all so that I can spy with my little eye

A guy

Who took a turn too wide

Cut the wheel and flipped his truck on its side

**Smash**Crash**Broken Glass

But not a single drop of blood

Damn...I sat thru all that traffic for this?

Lil' Stinker

2008-09-30T14:02:00.004-04:00

My older daughter, Sugar, is obsessed with farting. I'm totally serious.

First thing in the morning, she farts her love for me and giggles. If I return the sentiment (hey, I'm preggers and gassy...back off), then she falls to her bed in fits of laughter.

She carries around her favorite stuffed animals, lifts their tails, and makes them lovingly "toot" on anyone in close proximity. Sometimes, she will wrinkle her nose and announces that the toot was stinky.

But, this morning took the cake...

This morning, Sugar actually sat on her sister's head and pushed out a squeaky little fart, squealing in delight.

I was appalled. I yelled at her of course. I told her that it wasn't nice.

And she, eyes wide with innocence and mischief said...

But, it's funny, Mommy.

I'm thinking her little sister disagrees.

Reason #5 to hate Pregnancy...BABY SHOWERS

2008-09-15T15:10:00.006-04:00

I effing hate baby showers. Hate. Loathe to the very depths of my soul. I'm serious here, people. I hate them.

The decorations, the stupid games, the strange women with their phony grins whispering in the corner about how fat the mother-to-be looks, and finally, the gift opening. Man alive...gift opening at a baby shower is like a slow form of torture. Seriously. If it wasn't for the finger food, I would never go to another baby shower, ever. Hell, if the food at my baby shower wasn't so good I wouldn't have shown up for that either!

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful...or stupid. I know damn well I wouldn't have been able to afford all of the baby gadgets that I got at my shower on my own. My kid would have been dressed in my old rocker tee's and entertaining herself in a cardboard box had it not been for the generosity of the guests at my shower.

However...I still fucking hate them. (The showers, not the guests)

My shower was as awesome as a baby shower could possibly be and it still sucked. Firstly, I ditched the no men allowed rule. I encouraged my guests to bring their husbands, boyfriends, etc. I wanted, no needed, some testosterone injected into the atmosphere. Too much estrogen makes me itchy, you see.

I also had booze. Lots, and lots, and lots of booze. I believe they went through something like 8 pitchers of sangria, a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bottle of tequila, and a bottle of vodka. Not to mention the beer and wine coolers for the light weights in the group. Did I partake? Of course not. Don't be silly. I was 8 months preggers after all. My guests, however, including my husband, my father, and my best friends, drank to the point of passing out. Literally. When my shower was over, the house looked like after hours at a frat party. There were unconscious bodies everywhere surrounded by cardboard cutouts of cherub babies and storks. To top it all off, I was the designated driver. Effing priceless.

The food? Delish. My baby's ethnicity was represented in the cuisine. I had everything from stuffed cabbage, to arroz con pollo, to meatballs, sausage, and pasta. I had leftovers coming out my whazzo after that shower.

Gift opening? Record speed as this is by far, my least favorite baby shower moment. I ripped, announced, and passed the gift to my gal Friday to hold up whilst I moved on. The old biddy's in the back complained that I was going to fast, but that didn't stop me. I was a machine...methodical and quick. I treated gift opening like cardio. You have to keep moving for it to be effective, you see.

The stupid games? Non-existent. The girl I put in charge of games came late, hung over, and stoned out of her mind. At first I was mildly annoyed, but now, looking back, I'm glad. I never win baby gift bingo anyway. Bah-humbug to that shit.

I even inspired a few of my girlfriends who attended to shun the traditional notion of baby showers in favor of my own rogue event. What can I say, I'm an effing baby shower pioneer.

So, take it from me, to par down the yawn factor of any type of "shower" event...

Bring boys. Testosterone = fun.
Bring booze. Testosterone under the influence + estrogen under the influence = the horizontal mambo under the table. Meow.
Don't follow tradition because people (otherwise known as overbearing relatives) say you "have" to. Fuck that. Be original...it's more fun.
Bring a video camera, but DO NOT tape the opening of the presents. (Because really...who gives a shit.) Instead, take video of Aunt Martha getting hopped up on scotch and flirting mercilessly with the father-to-be. The video camera also makes a wonderful documentary of all of the inappropriate things that drunkards and rude old women say when they think no one is listening. Effing priceless.
Bring food home in your purse because you were too drunk and rowdy to eat at the shower. This rule fits any social gathering in general. This rule is also why I always carry a large purse...just in case.
Go for it with gusto...be loud and obnoxious.. The other women are going to talk about you anyway so you may as well give them something to talk about.
Play strip baby shower bingo...with the father-to-be.
Bring a friend who wasn't invited. The more, the merrier...right?
Bring a yappy, little dog, a la Paris Hilton. Let it run freely around the joint...and pee where ever it wants to.
Bring booze. Did I already say that? I did?! Oh well, bring more, it's really important...really.

Reasons to Love Pregnancy #1

2008-09-09T15:53:00.002-04:00

Extremely erotic, tantalizingly detailed, dirty, dirty dreams.

M-E-O-W!!

P.S.

Where have I been?? I've been sick with one of those horrible pregnancy colds. It just won't go away. Bleh. THAT, btw, is reason #35 to HATE pregnancy.

Mystery: Part IV

2008-08-22T14:09:00.003-04:00

I've got a secret

Not so secret anymore

My beautiful family

Will soon have one more

How many of you guessed correctly?

Wiggle Iggle Friday to be posted later today...

Mystery: Part III

2008-08-21T15:47:00.001-04:00

I've got a secret

I'm not willing to tell

But after these posts

You'll all know as well

Don't worry, the end is near...stay tuned

Mystery: Part II

2008-08-17T21:36:00.000-04:00

I've got a secret
And a mysterious glow
But why I smile
Is for me to know

To be continued...

Comments closed.

Mystery: Part I

2008-08-17T00:52:00.001-04:00

I've got a secret
That nobody knows
It lives deep inside
Where it grows and it grows

Stay tuned for Part II...

It's Friday, bitches

2008-07-31T23:18:00.003-04:00

Wiggle-effing-Iggle Friday

*another musical meme addition*

That dollfaced Jersey gal, Jill, over at Caffeine Court tagged me to do a musical meme. Perfect timing cuz then I can combine it with the much neglected Wiggle Iggle Friday.

The challenge:
Name 5 songs that I'm ashamed to admit that I like. This is actually difficult as I really do have awesome taste in music with very little exceptions, but here goes...

1.) Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice - I just can't help myself, dammit. Whenever I hear this song I. must. sing. along...loudly. (And I'll just pretend that I don't hear you laughing...loudly...thankyouverymuch.)

2.) Gimme More by Britney Spears - This one was so hard for me to admit...seriously. However, I can try to quickly divert your attention from my lame taste in music by posting a clip of the horrid spectacle that was Ms. Spears' "big VMA comeback performance"...

3.) SexyBack by Justin Timberlake - Revealing that I like this song may actually put my life in danger. As you read this my bad-ass, heavy metal peeps are probably organizing a posse to pistol whip me back to Pantera status.

4.)Chica Virtual by Arcangel - The song is in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish and yet I still try my damnedest to sing this fucker at the top of my lungs while in my car. Yep, pretty effing embarrassing, especially when I get caught totally fudging the lyrics while stopped at a red light next to a carload of Latinos. I'm such a white girl.

5.) Anything by Pink - I can't stand this bitch. She dresses punk, yet writes pop songs. What gives? That said, I somehow know the words to her songs and yes, I sing them with gusto. Effing sad man.

(No youtube clip from Pink because, like I said, I can't stand that bitch.)

Now that I've embarrassed myself from revealing that I actually listen to a Britney song on occasion, I feel it necessary to redeem myself by posting a Pantera song (or four) as they are (or were), the best fucking band ever.

Turn it up LOUD and bang your head HARD...you'll thank me later...promise.

Speaking of Pantera...did I ever tell you about the time I met Phil? No? Another time then...another time.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming

2008-07-27T21:12:00.002-04:00

My moment of weakness has passed. I'm totally not going to delete. Thanks all for your input. I think you're all correct when you say that I'll regret it. I would. I like it here and I would totally miss all yous guys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Living at my dad's has been an adjustment. I mean, there are eight of us here and only one bathroom. Can you imagine?

However, there is plenty of entertainment.

Teenagers.

This neighborhood has teenagers abound.

Because my step-sister is smack-dab in the middle of teenage-hood, I often find myself surrounded by her and her posse.

Call me crazy, but I actually enjoy this. They keep me young. And, get this, I actually speak their language really well.

A few nights ago, my step-sister (Girl #1), her friend (Girl #2), and I had the following conversation:

Me: Oh ma gah...like, wow...I can't even believe that really happened...like, seriously?...what-ever man...

Girl #1: I know right?? Like, OMG...

Girl #2: ~giggle~She's so, like, dumb, or something...~said while text messaging furiously~

Girl #1: Yah, she really is ~giggle~

Me: ~giggle~

In the midst of the "conversation", my Hubs walks by and gives me one of those squinty eyed looks that says what the hell are you doing...

Later, I explained to him that I love hanging with 14 year old girls and chatting like that. Literally, they giggle at almost everything I say...it's awesome and in an odd way, an insanely good ego boost.

Plus, hanging with them totally gives me the opportunity to discuss really serious world issues like Miley Cirus and which trendy colors to paint your toenails. ~giggle~

Fer Serious

2008-07-21T21:21:00.003-04:00

I am thinking about deleting my blogs.

Not for any dramatic reason or anything...I just have no desire to blog lately.

However, I'm afraid that I'll click delete and feel satisfied for all of 3.5 seconds before inspiration for a great post strikes and regret sets in.

::shrugs::

(I think I'm going thru a phase and probably won't delete.)

Thoughts? I'm especially curious to hear from anyone who has deleted and returned or has seriously, seriously considered the same thing but reconsidered. What changed your mind? Did you eventually regain your love for blogging?

I think I'm just in a down phase which is why I haven't deleted anything yet, but I have to say, the thought crosses my mind every day. I swear I've only been logging onto blogger lately to let the mouse linger over the delete button.

For those of you who have been blogging for a long time...what keeps you going?

**On a completely different note...

I'm hearing nothing but great things about BlogHer and it really is fun to read...however...

I know not everyone was full of sunshine and roses. In a hotel full of women you know there had to be clashing personalities.

So...

Who was a bitch?

And who was a bigger bitch?

Dish peeps cuz inquiring minds want to know.

If you want, you can even leave anonymous comments so as not to begrudge anyone....fer serious, I'm totally curious about this shitz.

Karma

2008-07-12T13:47:00.002-04:00

Today, I literally helped an old woman cross the street.

To do this one, small thing for another person felt wonderful.

It got me thinking about how much good will could be spread simply by everyone making sure to do simple things like this.

What random act of kindness have you done recently?

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-07-11T12:52:00.003-04:00

*meme edition**

I was sifting thru my waaaaaaaay overloaded reader and came across this meme posted by Tara. It's the perfect thing to lift me out of my posting funk. What better than music to lift your spirits, ya know...AND on Wiggle Iggle Friday no less.

1. What would describe your personality? Need To - Korn

2. What do you like in a guy/girl? Sons Gonna Rise - Citizen Cope

3. How do you feel, today? Are You Still Mad? - Alanis Morrisette

4. What’s your life’s purpose? Slow Like Honey - Fiona Apple

5. What is your motto? Flow Natural - Tito El Bambino

6. What do your friends think of you? She's Not Me - Madonna

7. What do you think of your parents? Tim Sult v. The Greys - Clutch

8. What do you think about very often? Seeing Things - The Black Crows

9. What do you think of your best friend? Chinese Rock - The Ramones

10. What do you think of the person you like? A Stroke of Luck - Garbage

11. What is your life story? New Skin - Incubus***

12. What do you want to be when you grow up? Feelin' the Same Way - Nora Jones

13. What do you think when you see the person you like? Nowhere Fast - Incubus

14. What do your parents think of you? Poetic Tragedy - The Used

15. What will be played at your funeral? Danger - Motley Crue

16.What is your hobby/interest? Get Off My Sunshine - Nikka Costa

17. What is your biggest secret? I'm in the Mood (Are you ready?) - Sublime*

18. What do you think of your friends? Untitled - Marilyn Manson*

19. What should you post this as? Big News II - Clutch

20. If your life was a soundtrack, what song would best describe NOW? Monkey - Bush**

*Could not find on youtube

**Could only find videos comparing George Bush to a monkey, but not the video for the actual song. I was quite amused by the George Bush/monkey videos though.

***If you can only listen to one song here, then make it this one. Brandon still has his dreads in this video. L.O.V.E.

****Mental note to self: Take any songs with a mellow undertone off of iPod immediately...they make for a boring blog post.

Keeping It Real

2008-07-08T14:55:00.003-04:00

After lamenting about my forlorn, yet surprisingly hopeful, state of mind, I realized that most of you have no clue what's going on because I only mentioned it briefly on Plurk.

So, in an effort to keep it real, I have decided to spill the beans about what's going on right now. No sense in hiding it, ignoring it, or not talking about it. It's my life and this blog is, after all, a documentary in progress of my life.

So...without further ado...

I'm being evicted.

The sad state of the economy has taken it's toll. I'm packing up, putting all my shit in storage, and moving into my dad's basement.

Chances are my computer time will be limited until I can get my own place. You see, at my dad's I have to share the computer with 1 Evil Stepmother and 2 Evil Stepchildren. (Ok, so they're not so evil, but it makes for a better post.) I also won't be able to cook breakfast in my panties nor will I be able to hump my husband without having to be face planted in a pillow to muffle my...oh shit...that was TMI, wasn't it...heh.

Seriously, it stinks, but, I have a plan. An evil, under-handed plan.

[insert sinister laugh here]

I'm like the bad guy (or in my case, bad gal) in the movie who you can't help but cheer for. I may not be following the rules, but I'll get to where I'm going with flair and finesse...you dig?

I'll keep you posted.

Movin' on (up?)

2008-07-07T10:24:00.003-04:00

Sorting...bubble wrapping...packing...

That has been my life for the past coupla days.

Stress filled, anxiety filled, and over flowing with tears.

That has been my state of mind.

And even though it feels as if I'm taking two giant steps back,

I can see the horizon,

And though it is still dark, I can see the glow of the sun looming large,

beckoning me to come forward.

While I may only be stumbling forward, inch by inch, I have hope...

Hope that my future may just be bright after all.

Wish me luck.

MIA

2008-06-30T10:12:00.002-04:00

I've been MIA for about a week now with regards to posting.

I've simply been uninspired.

No subject has been speaking to me loud enough to write about.

I'm ok with that.

That's the beauty of blogging without obligation.

I have been around though and will continue to be...

Reading, commenting, plurking.

I'll see you when I see you.

Peace.

[I closed comments because, well, there's not much to say to this now, is there.]

Lakshmi

2008-06-23T09:56:00.003-04:00

Last night I watched the National Geographic special about Lakshmi, the girl with eight limbs.

Incredible and inspiring.

There is just no other way to describe it.

Lakshmi's mother Poonam talks in the beginning of the program about the dreams she had while preggers with Lakshmi. In her dreams, she was told she needed to build a temple dedicated to Lakshmi, Goddess of Wealth. The Goddess has four arms and is worshiped in the fall months, mainly October (I believe). Then, come October, Poonam gives birth to a beautiful little girl born with eight limbs, four arms, four legs. The reincarnation of Lakshmi. And so, she was named for the Goddess.

Of course, being the seeker of the truth that I am, I had to start researching Hinduism. And what I have read so far, makes me want to dig deeper and to know more. I will spare you the details because I'm not about pushing religion, however, I do think Hinduism is worth your time to read about. It's interesting. (Especially the Christ-Krishna linkage which suggests that many of the legends of Jesus were copied from Krishna.)

What really piqued my curiosity was the reactions of Christians to this event. How would they pass judgement on this "miracle"? How would they classify this reincarnation of a Hindu Goddess? Would they discount it? Would they ignore it? What would they say?

From my perusal of message boards and blog comments I found they said exactly what I expected them to. Things like:

I am so thankful the Lord blessed those doctors with the ability to save this little girl.
God has truly blessed this child to survive such an ordeal.
Her family should thank God that she was able to be saved.
and How in God's name does she pee?

What they have failed to realize, it seems, is that this event has validated a religion other than their own. Yet they still insert their own beliefs into the situation.

It is true that Lakshmi had eight limbs because she was born with a parasitic twin fused to the bottom half of her spine. That is the scientific reason for her condition. Easily explained away as this is modern times with modern medicine and modern techniques to diagnose with, yes? Had she been born years ago, say in the time of Jesus, before modern medicine could provide an explanation, her Goddess status would not be questioned.

So, I have to wonder, what if Jesus was born in modern times and it was found that he was mentally ill? What if it was found that the reason this man thought he had such a close personal relationship with God because he suffered from schizophrenia? Would that still make him the messiah? Or just another crazy fuck put in the same category as other cult leaders?

Of course, it is hard to argue that point as Jesus lived oh so long ago and there is no way to judge his sanity. However, if it is acceptable for Christians to explain away little Lakshmi's condition as simply a birth defect, why is it not acceptable to question Jesus' mental health? I mean, come on, water into wine? That shit is highly suspect.

I have thought about this so much that my brain hurts. It seems it is an endless cycle. What one religion touts as a miracle, another will explain away using the very scientific or medical explanations that they claim cannot discount their own religion. This will just go on and on. Maybe it's time to realize that religions, and gods, and goddesses only have power because it's given to them. Maybe it's time to realize that no one religion is true because they all are as long as someone believes in them. Maybe it's time to realize that the only absolute thing we can believe in is ourselves.

In any event, regardless if she is the reincarnated Goddess or not, one thing is for sure, little Lakshmi is special. She radiates love, and happiness, and good energy. And I wish her and her family nothing but the best.

Wiggle Iggle Blog Blast for Education Friday

2008-06-19T11:55:00.007-04:00

First off, thanks a bunch to April for coming up with the idea to do a Blog Blast for Education.

My kiddos are young. Too young to be in school. And though I have thought about what I would like their educational experiences to be like, I feel I can't truly form an opinion until I experience the system from a parents perspective.

And so, I thought I'd write my post about a teacher that I loved. A teacher that made learning fun. A teacher that cared so much about what he did, and cared so much for his students, that to this day you can walk into his classroom and he'll be able to not only call you by your first name, but also start rehashing his fondest memories of you.

His name was Mr. Siegel. He was my sixth grade teacher.

Mr. Siegel was the type who liked to read the paper and sip his cup of coffee in peace during the morning hours. He therefore proclaimed that the first half hour of class be designated to silent reading, or journaling, or doing the homework you didn't do the night before. It didn't matter really, as long as you just shut the fuck up.

Mr. Siegel could easily be compared to the quirky old neighborhood hippy who would sit outside on his lawn chair, slathering his gray haired chest with oil while drinking frozen daiquiris and listening to the Grateful Dead. His face was animated, friendly, and welcoming. He was always a little too tan, to the brink of leathery looking. He was always laid back and chill, as opposed to so many other teachers that are uptight and stressed. His students respected him profoundly, yet felt comfortable enough with him to crack jokes about his Bermuda shorts and penny loafers. When he smiled his eyes would crinkle like old paper at the corners. And when he laughed, his entire being hummed with the joy he was feeling. He was a man who truly loved his job and it showed in everything he did.

Rare were the days that his mood turned foul. Even rarer were the days when he raised his voice to a student. In general, he was a jolly person. Always quick with a joke and a smile. He kept us on our toes and that made learning not only an interesting experience, but a fun experience as well.

Mr. Siegel was a science buff. The man looooooved him some science. Come time to open our science books and his energy level would instantly go up 4 thousand notches. He actually made science fun by doing a weekly "feely box". Every week he would put a different object into a big, deep box that had a round cut out at the top, just big enough to fit our arms thru. He would pass the box around and make each student reach in and feel what was in the box. Following would always be a lively discussion about what we thought the object was. I swear during these discussions Mr. Siegel had the biggest perma-smile from witnessing our excitement, and he would hop around the front of the room like a monkey on crack trying to jot all of our ideas down on the board.

The most memorable feely box item? A strange oblong thing with two holes. He made sure he insisted we did not put our fingers in the holes when we were feeling it. He did this knowing that children will always do what they are told not to. So, of course, we all put our fingers in the holes. The object in the box...a pig's nose. Meaning, we all picked a pig's nose. Then, we all went to the bathroom to wash our hands.

Mr. Siegel was close friends with the teacher across the hall. Close friends and kickball rivals, that is. It was not uncommon for one teacher or the other to send a student across the hall to throw down the gauntlet and present the kickball challenge. Many, many Friday afternoons were spent laughing in the sunshine and playing kickball. We were always thrilled at the opportunity to put the books down and release some of that pent up adolescent energy on the playground. The best part...the teachers would play too, not just watch. That made all the difference. We were a team, Mr. Siegel and us, both on the kickball field, and in the classroom. We were on a journey together, a learning adventure if you will, and he never abandoned us. He never abandoned any of his students. And I don't think he ever will.
~~~~~~~~~~
In honor of the Blog Blast for Education, I decided to do Wiggle Iggle Friday, "school sucks edition"...

To put a little more Wiggle in your Iggle, go see Frances!

I dream

2008-06-19T08:43:00.002-04:00

I dream. I dream in technicolor. I dream in vast details and ever expanding story lines. I dream continuously between midnight awakenings.

For a long time I wrote my dreams down. I literally kept a notebook by the side of the bed. Upon waking I would just roll over and write. Amazing how much detail you remember in those first moments of waking that you forget as the day goes on. I would always leave a few pages blank after my dream summary for translation purposes. I have more dream analysis books than I'd care to admit.

Writing down my dreams gave me control over them. I started becoming completely aware of the times that I was in a dream state and had absolute control over my behavior. This is called lucid dreaming. I don't lucid dream anymore because I no longer journal my dreams like I used to. I need to start again...and quick. My dreams lately are completely out of control. They are so bad, that I dare not even write here what they were. Honestly, I'm a bit freaked out. It's not even so much what happened in my dreams, but how I reacted.

Does anyone else have freaky, weird dreams that rock you to your very core? Please say I'm not alone on this.

She has made a full recovery...

2008-06-17T21:24:00.002-04:00

Woot!

However, she does have a few lingering scars. My darling 'puter had to undergo a full reformatting of both her C and D drive. Poor baby.

The downside? I lost a lot of shit. The upside? Now this baby is super-fucking-fast.

PLUS, I have downloaded Firefox to surf with instead of IE.

It seems I'm moving up in the world.

Now that I'm up and running, I should prolly get to work on those sins posts, eh?

I'm still here...

2008-06-16T14:46:00.003-04:00

My computer is still sick, but is getting better every day.

Dr. Hubs informed me a coupla days ago that she would need surgery. The Dr. was able to extract the so-called "body" of the virus, yet the "head" of the bastard remained hidden somewhere deep inside her hard drive.

I am happy to report that the surgery went well and my darling computer is in recovery. Once we can locate the damned manual then she will be fully operational. We're looking at a few more days of down time at least.

While I have missed all my bloggy buds and have been dying to catch up with the goings-on in all of your lives, I have to say that I am very much enjoying the break. It's nice to devote my time to other things, mainly my children, and not run to the computer sporatically throughout my day to check email or read a blog. It's nice to not even consider turning the computer on in the morning. It's nice to spend evenings working out and then reading magazines in front of the tv instead of parking my ass behind a desk.

And so, after much deliberation, I have decided that once my computer is up and running again, I will be marking all of the unread posts in my reader as read and starting fresh. Amazingly, I don't even feel guilty about it...so there. =P

But, of course, there has to be that one dark cloud hovering above my sunshiney day. It's my own fault really, as soon as I read the headline I knew the story would be upsetting, but I just had to go and read it. This is the article I'm talking about...read at your own risk...it's so effing sad.

Thrifty Chick Link

2008-06-10T16:31:00.000-04:00

This will be the new blog...once I get it rolling.

My Hubs Broke the Computer!

2008-06-10T14:55:00.003-04:00

Yes, yes, I know it's Tuesday and yes, I know you were all expecting a sins post.

But, my computer is broken.

Right now I am at work, I am going to *try* to get my creative juices flowing [despite the corporate atmosphere] to do a sins post before I leave today. If not, sin on, people, sin on. I'll catch up.

Why is my computer broken? Good question. You see, Hubs, who is usually very careful, found a site that has free bootleg movies and started downloading like a crazy person. This site is actually awesome because it has EVERY movie that's out in theatres now...including SATC [fyi, I resisted because I really want to see it on the big screen]. Anyway, he downloads a ton of movies...and a big, ol' virus.

Crash...boom...bang...no more computer. =(

Luckily, he's skilled at debugging so he's working vigorously on getting me, ~~my computer~~, the computer back up and running because I've been yelling at him, throwing bits of food at him, and generally making his life miserable.

Alas, until that damn thing gets fixed I cannot blog, read blogs, access my email, buzz, or plurk. from home. Oh. The. Horror.

Send me some computer healing vibes pleeeeez.

Thrifty Chick News

2008-06-09T09:02:00.002-04:00

I've gone and done it. At the urging of a few of my readers, I have created a Thrify Chick blog.

No more Sundays Steals and Deals here on Secrets, no more coupon talk. Over here it's all about me, me, me. Over there it will be all about savings, coupons, deals, and steals. As a matter of fact, my first post will be a product review that I've been meaning to do here for about a month now, but keep forgetting.

Right now, it's totally plain and boring with no posts. But soon it will be an oasis of penny pinching and frugality. Oh. the. joys.

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-06-08T09:34:00.003-04:00

*Note: No pics this week. Neither my car, nor my house has central air and my kitchen was just a big ol' hot box yesterday. I was not about to arrange my purchases into a clever little pyramid and take a pic when it was no less than 97 degrees in there. I just wanted to put them away and retreat to the bedroom to indulge in some air conditioning.

This week I assaulted the stores with a vengeance and, of course, came out victorious.

First stop, Pathmark. They were having a sale where you buy $30 worth of Unilever products and you get a $10 Catalina coupon back (good for $10 off your next purchase.) A quick browse thru my coupons and I knew I could make the deal pretty sweet.

Here's what I got:

3 All 2x Laundry Detergent = $9.98 (on sale 3/9.98)
3 jars Skippy Peanut Butter = $5.00 (on sale 3/$5)
2 jars Ragu = $4.00 (on sale 2/$4)
4 bottles Lawry's marinade = $6.96 (on sale $1.74 each)
5 packages Knorr Pasta Sides = $5.00 (on sale 5/$5)
Subtotal: $30.94
Balance with tax after coupons: $20.58
Used the following coupons: (my store doubles coupons up to 99 cents)
3 - $1.00 All Q's
2 - .25 Ragu Q's
4 - .50 Lawry's Q's
2 - .75 Knorr Q's
Received $10 Catalina

Then, I used my $10 catalina coupon to take advantage of some other sale items. All together, at Pathmark, I saved $57.17 by shopping sales with coupons, and only spent $32.88. Woot! It's always nice to save more than you spend.

And then my CVS trip. Oh CVS, how I love thee...let me count the ways...

1 box Newports = $5.71 (for Hubs)
3 pcks Duracell batteries = $8.97
2 pkgs 8 roll Bounty = $11.98
Used:
$4 CVS Q
2 - $1 Bounty Q's
3 - $1 Duracell Q's
$14.00 ECB's
Pay $4.06 oop (Damn that pack of smokes.)
Get $10 ecb's back

Oo-La-La. What sa-weeeeeet savings!

Check out Money Saving Mom for more steals and deals.

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-06-06T10:31:00.000-04:00

*Lesbians are fun edition*

In support of the lesbian couple who *dared* kiss at a Seattle Mariners game.

See the button over there on my side bar of the girl doin' a little Wiggle Iggle? Click it if you'd like to hear somemore.

Best Chest Contest...I'm not even kidding

2008-06-05T14:48:00.004-04:00

Do you know Lotus aka Sarcastic Mom?

Well, she's having a contest. A show your rack to the entire internets contest.

And I entered.

Because I'm ~~an extreme extrovert in desperate need of attention~~, ~~looking for validation~~, bored.

Please get your fanny over there and vote!

P.S.

I'm not going to tell you which one is me.

I would rather you vote based on your opinion rather than favoring me because, well, I rule.

For those about to buzz...

2008-06-04T10:25:00.001-04:00

In case you haven't buzzed in awhile, I posted an amusing little ditty on my buzz blog a few days ago.

Click here to read it.

Terrible Tuesday - Wrath

2008-06-03T08:52:00.000-04:00

Wrath...probably the sin I embody the least.

When I was a ~~stupid~~ naive teenage girl, I met a boy. A boy who was older. A boy in a band. A boy with long hair and a bad attitude. A total wannabe rockstar.

This boy became my highschool sweetheart and stayed that way for years after my highschool experience was over. He was my first real boyfriend. We'll call him...Nostrils. Yep, Nostrils. (He had the biggest nostrils you have ever seen. Like a hippo or something. Weird.)

Nostrils had a bad temper. He also had an addiction to cocaine, which didn't help things any, but the bad temper was a fixture in his life way before cocaine ever came into the picture. (His big ol' nostrils sure did come in handy for a his cocaine addiction though, eh?)

Anyway, when Nostrils got drunk, which happened almost daily, his bad temper became a ticking timebomb. He would explode on anyone for any reason. He exploded on me and our roommates at least once a week. Doors got ripped off hinges, holes got punched in walls, windows got broken, bottles got thrown, and possessions in general got destroyed. He would turn into a monster right before my very eyes.

So why do I mention him when this post is supposed to be about me? Well, because that was my first real experience with wrath, up close and all kindsa personal like. Wrath had a hold of him. It was part of him, and I was forced to witness it and also take the brunt of it.

At first, I was scared when the monster would rear it's ugly head. I had never seen anyone flip out like that before. Often, I would often back down from him and cower in fear and in tears, waiting for him to simmer down. Then, one day, I saw the honest truth of it all.

He was a big, fucking baby having a temper tantrum. Plain and simple.

From that day forward, I no longer was afraid of him. I no longer cowered in fear. I no longer cried. I stood my ground. Face to face with the beast as he snarled and spat and yelled, arm cocked, ready to strike. He never did. Not once. (The walls kept taking a beating though.) And I would stand there. Calm. Cool. Collected.*

Now, when I see people act out like that, I'm totally turned off and annoyed. I can barely even watch otherwise educational, heartwarming, and thought provoking shows like The Real World [dripping with sarcasm] anymore because the cast freaks out and punchs walls so often. In my eyes, they may as well just stick their fingers in their ears, hold their breath, and stomp around until they pass out. Really, it's the same thing.

Anger issues? Deal with them. Get help. Get counceling. Find out the true nature of what's going on inside because honestly, from what I've seen between my brothers issues with anger and Nostrils' issues with anger...it's all just a way to cover up a deeper issue, an insecurity, or something like that. Find it. Squash it. Get over it. Move on. Temper tantrums are not cool. Punching holes in walls does not make you look tough, it makes you look like a child who cannot control yourself. It's juvenile and silly.

Look, we all get mad. Sometimes, we get really, really mad so that our ears burn hot, our chests fill with a ball of tension and fury, and our vision blurs red. I know it happens to me. And when it does, I deal with it. I walk away. I count to ten. I breath in and out and focus my energy on maintaining my self control. Very rarely do I lose my cool. It may have happened a few times in my younger years, but now, being older and wiser, it's a rare accurance. When it does happen, which it does, rarely, like I said, after I have calmed down, and the dust has settled, I am thoroughly embarrassed for the way I acted.**

Being with such an angry person, and witnessing such horrific displays of wrath on a weekly basis for over six years has taught me a lot. A lot about myself. A lot about the nature of anger. A lot about self control or lack thereof. Fact is, it's a lot harder to maintain your self control and stay calm, than it is to give in to the anger and let it take a hold of you. To let yourself be ruled by emotion is not good. It's just not. But, to take the energy that comes with an emotion, to harness it, to focus it, to use or diffuse it...that is an essential step in mastering your mind and your body.

I was lucky enough to get schooled on this pretty early in life. Others may not have had that lesson. Some may not even need it, having mastered it on their own. Most, will have to face the beast in order to tame it. Some are facing the beast now, and are reading this with blurred vision because I compared their wrath to a child's temper tantrum. (Calm down, dudes, calm down.) But we all, at one point or another, no matter at what point of anger management we are at, have had to deal with the beast of wrath and are aware of it's destructive tendencies and how truly damaging they can be.

I can honestly say that Wrath, IMO, is the most painful of the Seven Deadly Sins to suffer simply because the fallout of acting out with wrath can be terrible. I sincerely hope that those who are battling wrath find the strength to defeat it.

*Please spare me the "Why did you stay with him for so long?" comments. I don't know why I stayed. I was young and stupid and just finding myself as a person and discovering my own strength and self worth. I am well aware that I should have left him sooner and trust me, I wish I had.

**This doesn't include general raising of the voice and yelling. We all get angry and raise our voices or yell. When I say I rarely lose my cool, I'm really referring to not going that step further and acting out in anger. You all know what I mean, we all have our own ideas of what going too far and acting out entails.

~~~~~~~~~~

All Hail, Jill, Queen of the Seven Sins Resurrection.

~~~~~~~~~~

Blog for Education

2008-06-02T10:50:00.005-04:00

Have you met April?

April was my very first virtual neighbor. I met her on some lame online mom's community we both belonged to before we both became addicted to blogging.

April is one of those single mothers that you watch with awe wondering how the hell she manages to do it all by herself and raise such wonderful children.

Of all of her qualities, the one that always struck me the most was her involvment in her childrens' education. She takes such an earnest interest in their school lives. I can only hope that when my children reach school age, that I can be as effective as she is in guiding them in the right direction, in encouraging them, in supporting them, all without overbearing them. She's truly inspiring.

Which is why I'm totally supporting her idea for Blogging for Education on June 20, 2008.

Blog for Education Day is an opportunity for us "mommy bloggers" to talk about education and what it means to us and to our children. Talk about whatever you like. Your concerns. Your gripes with the system. Your rave reviews about a school. Your ideas for your child's educational future. What you would like to see happen with education in this country. Anything you want really.

It's an important issue and with the election right around the corner, Blog for Education Day gives up all the opportunity to voice our opinions. Who knows, maybe Washington DC is listening?

Spread the word, let your voice be heard...

Blog for Education on June 20, 2008.

Thrifty Chick Tutorials - Vol 3

2008-06-01T09:28:00.002-04:00

*Couponing*

Until fairly recently I never used coupons. My attitude was why bother? What could a coupon possibly save me...50 cents? 75 cents maybe? Bah. Keep yer coupons.

Oh how wrong I was.

Coupons have saved me hundreds of dollars. In an average grocery shopping trip I will save at least $10-$15 in coupons. At least. Sometimes much more. (That is, of course, not counting what I save by shopping and couponing at CVS.)

The trick is to use your coupons wisely and to gather as many coupons as you can.

I buy two Sunday papers. Two different Sunday papers actually because sometimes the coupons vary from paper to paper. Also, my mother sends me coupons she clips (two papers worth) and a co-worker brings me her coupon inserts.

Sounds like a lot right? It is. But that's a good thing. When something goes on sale for a good price, I can buy five instead of one because I have five coupons. If a coupon comes out for an item that rarely goes on sale, or rarely releases coupons, you may even want to consider purchasing some on eBay. I've never done this myself, but I can understand why you would.

Using coupons wisely comes down to this:

Use your coupons when the item goes on sale to get rock bottom prices. Bonus if you have a store coupon for the same item because then you can combine the store coupon with the manufacturer's coupon and the sale. Double bonus if your store doubles or triples manufacturer's coupons.

Example:

Recently, my fav shampoo for my kiddos went on sale. L'Oreal Kids. I love this stuff. Especially the vanilla scent....mmmmm. Anyway, my grocery store had it on sale BOGO or buy one, get one free. I also had coupons for 75 cents off one bottle. I had five coupons to be exact. So, I bought six bottles and used my five coupons which my store doubled:

6 bottles L'Oreal Kids @ $2.99 each = $17.94
Bogo sale = -$8.97
Coupons = -$3.75
Doubled Coupons = -$3.75
TOTAL: $1.47

Good deal, eh? If I had used my coupons when the product wasn't on sale I would have bought five (5) bottles for $7.45. Instead, I held out until they went on sale and scored six (6) bottles for $1.47 for a total savings of $16.47. That's smart couponing.

So, how do you begin?

Clip, clip, clip coupons. Gather unused coupon inserts from co-workers, neighbors, friends, and family.
Find out if and when your store doubles/triples coupons. Try only to shop during those days because that is when the magic happens people. (My store always doubles, but never triples.)
Pay attention to store ads and wait for an item to go on sale to use your coupon. Of course, if the coupon is about to expire and the item isn't on sale then you can make an exception.
Compare store ads and shop at multiple stores per week if and only if they are within a close distance. Otherwise, store hopping will waste in fuel what you save in coupons. (I'm very lucky that I have three stores within a half mile from me. And, yes, I usually go to all three every week.)
Organize your coupons in a way that makes them portable enough to bring with you on shopping trips. This way an unadvertised sale on an item that you have a coupon for can be taken advantage of without wasting fuel and making an extra trip. (More on coupon organization in the future.)
Do not be brand loyal. I find that people have the most trouble with this one. You like what you like, right? Question is, do you like your brand of toilet paper more than you like a bigger bank account balance?
Try to stock up when an item is on sale and you have coupons so that you have plenty to last you until the item goes on sale again.

I think that about covers it. Anything I missed? Do you have a couponing tip you'd like to share?

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-05-30T10:35:00.002-04:00

*Celebrity Edition*

Yesterday I got my US Weekly in the mail. Usually, this makes me happy. Thrilled even. Celebrity gossip used to be my all time favorite guilty pleasure.

Then I saw the cover...

This bitch is not a celebrity and I wish these rag mags would stop putting her face on their covers immediately. I don't give two shits about her, and neither should anyone else.

So, yeah, the cover made my blood pressure rise, but whatever. I start flipping thru the magazine and suddenly the life of privilege these people lead makes me ill. These people, these celebrities, are spending money like it grows on trees. Despite the rising gas prices, the high unemployment rate, the housing and real estate issues. Millions of people can't afford to buy a blow up pool for their backyard, let alone afford a vacay, yet celebs jet off to Figi, via private jet, at the drop of a hat, redesign their mansions to fit in a bigger pool and a tennis court, and buy three more Bentleys just for the hell of it. Grrr.

Am I envious of their money? No, I think I've already covered that. But I am angry that it seems they don't care about the economic crisis that this country is suffering from. How many of them have set up relief funds? How many of them have given their time to volunteer causes? How many of them actually give a fuck about the very people that go and see their movies, buy their DVD's, and buy the magazines with their faces on it, thereby making them famous and enabling them to make their millions in the first place? My guess: Not. Very. Many.

Fuckers.

Then to top it all off, at the back of the magazine are some pics of a particular celeb who is so full of herself and so convinced of her own fabulousness that she wears her own image on her clothing. Her own face, on her shirt, repeatedly, and not as a joke.

That was it. I slammed the mag shut, threw it across the room, and vowed not to renew my subscription. I have better fucking things to do with my money.

And so, this Wiggle Iggle Friday goes out to all those celebs who are too worried about their penthouse suites and their Prada bags to remember where they came from and who made them famous.

For much more Wiggle Iggle, go see Frances.

Holy Inappropriate-ness Updated: RETRACTION

2008-05-28T12:05:00.006-04:00

A question asked to me, by a courier, because I was sitting in lotus position in my office chair (something I do often simply because it feels more natural to me than letting my legs dangle):

Have you ever gotten crabs from sitting like that?

What. The. Eff.

And, yes, he was totally serious.

Holy inappropriate-ness, Batman.

Retraction:
So, I'm telling my Hubs this story and he starts laughing at me.

Hubs: Cramps, babe, CRAMPS. He said CRAMPS not CRABS.

Me: Ooooooooooohhhhhh...

Color me stupid.

Terrible Tuesday - Greed

2008-05-27T10:04:00.004-04:00

Tuesday already? Man, the weekends go by way too quickly. I skipped my usual Sunday post because I was too busy doing nothing. I haven't visited any blogs because I was too busy doing nothing. I didn't even read my email. Why? Too. Busy. Doing. Nothing.

Suddenly it's Terrible Tuesday and I have to dust off my brain in order to do a sins post. Nice. Like diving head first into frigid waters.

Let's see...I've tackled envy, dealt with sloth, and double fisted gluttony. Next up, Greed/Avarice.

Despite appearances, I am not greedy and I definitely am not guilty of avarice. In case you don't know greed is another sin of excess, usually focused on the acquisition of wealth. Avarice is a blanket term used to describe many sins (like betrayal, treason, etc.) done with the intent of some kind of personal gain, usually by way of a bribe.

I have expressed my disdain for greed before. Specifically, the greed shown by many CVS-ers that I've come across online. Some, like me, use the beauty that is the CVS system to get a few great deals and stock up on essentials. Others, hoard massive amounts of shit like armageddon is around the corner. A few bad apples even make it a point to clean out all of the CVS's in their area of all of the deals simply so others cannot buy them. It's sad and disgusting and rude. However, I refuse to launch into another diatribe about them as I've already covered it.

This post is supposed to be about me, dammit. Me, me, me. *stomping feet*

I used to be very attached to my "stuff". Seriously, I had a lot of stuff. Then I met my husband. He is a guy without "stuff". It's amazing. [Wow...that just sounds wrong, doesn't it?] When we moved in together I had a bedroom overflowing with stuff and a storage unit jam packed. He had his clothing (enough to fill a small armoir), his guitar and amp, a few CD's, a coupla DVD's, and a DVD player. That's it. We had to rent a small UHaul to move me, while his shit fit in the trunk.

Of course, I asked him about it. I'm all...Babe, where is all your stuff? And he's all...It's not good to have a lot of stuff. And from there, my attitude adjustment began. I got rid of half of my shit, at least. Maybe more. It felt wonderful.

So, really, I'm not guilty of greed. Nor am I guilty of avarice. Wow...what a boring ass post. But, don't worry folks, I'm leading up to my favorite sins Vanity/Pride and Lust. Those should be fun. In the meantime, let's hope my fellow sinners have something interesting to say...

THANKS JILL FOR BEING THE INSPIRATION BEHIND TERRIBLE TUESDAY!!

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-05-23T09:26:00.003-04:00

*Change is good edition*

As you may have noticed I'm revamping my image again. I'm currently working on putting some of the links in the sidebars into posts and writing an about me post. Then, I have to make a home for links to those posts. I found instructions on how to make one of those horizontal navigation bars that I love so much, so that will be coming as well. Then, of course, comes the header. Time to redesign the header which always takes me a long time to do.

So, change is coming slowly but surely. I'm totally in love with mixing the combination of cherries on a blue background, so if any of you see any interesting cherry graphics or clip art, send it my way pleeez.

Now, about this weekend...

What's going on with you, party people? You got plans?

I don't, believe it or not. No solid plans anyway. I've been invited to a BBQ or two, but there are several factors which will determine whether or not I can make it. Basically, it will be a last minute decision.

BUT...

To rock your socks, get your energy up for the weekend, and give you the wiggle iggle's in general, here is Mr. Paul Oakenfold with the lovely Brittnay Murphy doing Faster Kill Pussycat.

M-E-O-W

To get another Wiggle Iggle fix, go see Frances...tell her Luna sent you.

The Kindness of "Strangers"

2008-05-22T15:31:00.003-04:00

There are things in our lives that we don't publicise. Things that we do not put in print here on our blogs for the world to read. No matter how honest we are, nor how true to ourselves we may be, we all have parts of our lives that we do not want to share. I am no different.

Our readers, our comrades in arms during the war that is surviving motherhood and conquering life, are familiar to us. They are friends. They are confidantes. However, they are also strangers. Familiar strangers. An oxymoron indeed, yet one that holds true.

I have met so many familiar strangers through my virtual life that exists here on this blog. I have met so many that I trust, that I open up to, that I share my thoughts, my experiences, my joys, and my hardships with. I am so thankful for you all.

One of you in particular though, reached out in a way that I have never experienced. One of you has touched my life, and that of my family, in a way that is so heart-warming that I hardly have the words to thank you. One of you reminded me that the beauty of the human spirit is alive and well.

One of you has my eternal gratitude.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

(Three thank you's for three boxes. XOXO)

Meh

2008-05-21T16:33:00.002-04:00

The lovely and always awesome Miss tagged me for a meme. I swore I'd never do one of these shitz again, but what the hell.

Six Random Things:

I bite my lips until they bleed. This of course makes them dry and peely and in dire need of tons of lip balm.
I have a lip balm addiction.
I love perfumes, body sprays, and especially perfume oils and I have a TON of different fragrances.
I never wear them and often leave the house smelling of nothing but soap, crayons, and chocolate chip cookies.
I hate American Idol. LOATHE. Last season was the first that I watched and I just don't get it. It bores me to tears. Seriously.
It takes every ounce of restraint in my body not to FREAK OUT on those people who go door to door preaching about salvation and the Bible. I would never, ever dream of pushing my beliefs (or lack thereof) onto someone else and I don't understand how they justify doing it. It's downright rude. This morning two bitches rang my doorbell over and over and over and over until I answered the door just so they could give me a fucking pamphlet. A FUCKING PAMPHLET!! I was *thisclose* to pushing them down the stairs, but thought better of it. Instead, I gave them a terse nod and slammed the mofo door in their faces. Crazy effing religious freaks. They are just one of the reasons organized religion gets such a bad rap.

No tags peeps. It's closing time here at work which means I get to go home. Yeee-ow-zaaa!

Later.

Terrible Tuesday - Envy

2008-05-20T14:50:00.004-04:00

This Terrible Tuesday I thought I would tackle the sin of ENVY.

Envy is a nasty, nasty thing. To not only be unsatisfied with what you have, to be ungrateful, but to also covet what is not yours...well, it just seems to bring out the worst in people.

Envy is the sin that leads people to commit dumb crimes. You know the ones I'm talking about. When a bully beats up another kid to steal his sneakers. When a group of guys assaults a lone kid on the subway simply to snatch his iPod. So. Effing. Stupid.

I am guilty of envy to a certain degree. I think we all are. Some of us have extreme envy, others just a touch.

My particular envy is pretty mild. I don't tend to be envious of others' beauty. I'm satisfied with myself. I don't tend to be envious of others' possessions. I think when you own too much, your things tend to own you. I don't tend to envy money. I'm a realist who knows that there is a level of wealth that is simply out of my reach. I will never own a home here, have a summer house in Miami, and a condo in the city. I'm ok with that. [Ok, fine, so I would totally die for a condo in Manhattan, but whatever.]

My envy is geared towards something much more general: Security.

I envy the security of a steady income that others have. [There is nothing steady about the trucking industry.] I envy the security of those who own their own home. I would love to own my own home. Not a big house. I'm not looking for acres of property. Hell, I don't even care if it only has one bathroom, so long as it's mine. Just thinking about my children coming home from school to an actual house makes my heart ache with longing. I envy the security of those who do not have to pick and choose which bills to pay each month. I envy the security of those who do not have to stick to a rigid budget at the grocery store in order to also afford to put gas in the tank. I envy the security of those who can send their children off to school with confidence because they know the school system is a good one. I am envious of those who don't have a constant tension in their chest due to the precarious nature of their finanicial situation. I'm envious of those who sleep in peace instead of having uncomfortable dreams about the bottom falling out from underneath their feet.

I know that someday I'll have the security that I envy so. However, at this time, in this job market, that someday seems so far away. For now, all I have is my envy...and my hope.
~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks Jill for giving the seven deadly sins a virtual rebirth.
~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-05-18T11:13:00.003-04:00

My CVS-ing was minimal this week. Mainly, I tried to hold true to last week's tutorial about incorporating items I need into my CVS trips. I did really well too.

Please note that not everything is pictured here. Missing are: another pack of Huggies and three cans of cat food.

A little side note about Huggies also. I really don't like them. They always leak. However, they were on sale this week and I had coupons. I knew I could get a great deal on them and hey, beggers can't be chosers, right? Free diapers are always welcome in my house.

Anyway...

ECB's = Extra Care Bucks
Q = Coupon
OOP = Out of Pocket expense

Transaction 1:
1 pack Huggies: $8.99
1 tube Colgate Total: $2.99
1 Schick razor: $9.99
2 Colgate 360's: $7.98
2 cans Fancy Feast cat food: $1.78
Used:
$4 CVS Q
$2.00 Huggies Q
(2) $1.00 Colgate 360 Q's
$4.00 Schick Q
$1.00 Colgate Total Q
$17.98 in ECB's
OOP EXPENSE: .80 cents
GET: $15.98 in ECB's
($2 for Colgate Total, $6 for Schick razor, $7.98 for Colgate 360's)

Transaction 2:
1 pack Huggies: $8.99
2 tubes Colgate Total: $5.98
1 pack Garnier towelles: $5.99
1 can Fancy Feast: .89
Used:
$4.00 CVS Q
$2.00 Huggies Q
(2) $1.50 Colgate Total Q's
$5 Garnier Q
$7.98 ECB's (adjusted down to $7.85)
OOP EXPENSE: .07 cents
GET: $4.00 ECB's
($2 ECB's from each Colgate Total)

That is $53.58 worth of stuff for .87 cents. I rule.

Thrifty Chick Tutorials Vol. 2

2008-05-18T10:43:00.002-04:00

What are ECB's??

That is the question of the day, it seems.

ECB's or Extra Care Bucks are a CVS promotion linked to your frequent shopper card.

CVS runs special weekly and monthly sale items that give back ECB's when you purchase them. The ECB's print out at the bottom of your receipt and can be used like cash on your next purchase. They usually expire after a month. Letting them expire is like throwing away money. Seriously.

The trick is, to use your ECB's to purchase other ECB items. This is called "rolling" your ECB's. Combine with coupons and you have a sure fire way to save a ton of money.

For example:

A May monthly ECB promotion is Aquafresh toothpaste: on sale for $2.99 giving back $2.99 in ECB's.

If you bought 1 tube, then you would pay $2.99 + tax. On the bottom of your receipt, a bar coded coupon for $2.99 off your next order would print. This is called an ECB.

So, you buy another tube of toothpaste for $2.99. Instead of paying with cash, you give them your $2.99 ECB. You pay nothing for the item (except maybe tax) AND another $2.99 bar coded coupon prints at the bottom of your receipt.

You decide to do this one more time since you really need toothpaste. This time, you also have a $1 manufacturer's coupon:

1 tube Aquafresh: $2.99
Manuf Coupon: -$1.00
Sub-Total: $1.99

Uh-Oh...problem. You have an ECB worth $2.99, but your total is only $1.99. The cashier can adjust the ECB down to $1.99 for you, but that would be like throwing away a dollar and that's just silly. So, add in a low priced item to bump up your total so you can use your ECB. This is called adding a filler item. Most grab candy bars as a filler item. I like to use cans of cat food as a filler. You can use anything really. The thing is to pick an item that is just over the amount needed to bump your total up so you can use your ECB and pay as little as possible out of pocket.

You decide to throw in a candy bar to bump up your total. You glance down and notice that Twix bars are 2 for $1. You grab two and the cashier rings them up.

Sub-Total: $1.99
Twix: $1.00
New Total: $2.99
Use: $2.99 ECB's
GET: $2.99 ECB's

So, between all three transactions you got:

3 tubes Aquafresh
2 Twix Candy Bars

You paid: $2.99 + tax

You still have: $2.99 in ECB's for your next CVS trip

This is, of course, a very basic example meant to give you an idea of how ECB's work. The longer you roll ECB's, the better you get at it. When I first started "CVS-ing" I would end up spending $1-$5 out of pocket. Now, I can usually keep my total out of pocket spending (or OOP) under $1.

It takes some work. It takes some practise. It takes some time. But, it is so worth it when you see how much you can really get for free or almost free. Give it a try if you haven't already.

Cough Cough Sneeze

2008-05-17T18:23:00.002-04:00

Lunanik's guide to making sure you successfully avoid getting a good night's rest:

First night: Get sick. Make good and sure the mucus in your nose is so stubborn that no amount of cold medication or blowing will help dislodge it, thereby plugging your sinuses indefinately and making breathing barely an option.
Second night: Add a thrashing, feverish toddler to your bed for the night and endure many, many kicks to the head, torso, and knees.
Third night: Treat bruised head, torso, and knees. Develop a fever of your own and as a bonus, vomit violently and repeated thoroughout the night. (*Bonus* Lose 5 lbs of water weight!)
Fourth night: Add a thrashing, extremely feverish (yet surprisingly spirited), slightly younger toddler to your bed for night and sleep only an hour or so between vomitting sessions and cold compresses.
Fifth night: Pray that your now well (and very rambunctious children) will sleep thru the night allowing your coughing, sneezing, and over tired ass to get a good night's sleep.

Last Day to Get Your $25!!

2008-05-14T11:27:00.002-04:00

Today is the last day that Revolution Money Exchange is crediting your account with $25 when you sign up.

You see that nice, green button on my left-hand sidebar? Yep, that's the one...click it. Go ahead, you know you want to.

Clicking that button will not only sign you up to get your $25, but it will give me an additional $10 for the referral. Bonus.

For all you married or attached couples try this:

Sign up today and get $25, then have your spouse/boyfriend/whatever sign up thru YOU. This way, he gets $25 for signing up and then you get an additional $10 for the referral!! In TEN MINUTES you guys could make $60 just by signing up for an account!

Come on, now...you know you could all use the extra $60. Just click that little green button on the left and *poof*...you're that much richer.

Terrible Tuesday - Sloth Updated

2008-05-13T14:41:00.004-04:00

My motto is don't do today what can be done tomorrow. You see, my most sinful act of slothfulness is expressed through my procrastination. Let me clarify, my persistent and excessive procrastination.

Sounds familiar, yes? I bet it does.

Thing is, I'm not alone on this one, I know I'm not. I think many of us suffer this sin in this manner. It's just so easy to put off going grocery shopping one. more. day. [Until your kids are eating ketchup and mayonnaise sandwiches without the bread.] It's easy to put off starting your diet until tomorrow. And it's way too easy to promise yourself that you will get up and exercise in the morning, so you can ~~sit in front of the computer and blog~~ ~~watch television~~ read a book tonight.

And honestly it's not even entirely our fault. Sloth has become a selling point to the American public, an integral part of society, a way of life even.

Think about it...we drive everywhere even if our destination is within walking distance, we have remote controls for the TV, fast food, Netflix, drive thrus, food delivered to your front door, online ordering, grocery delivery services, dog walkers, and the list goes on and on and on. All of these things/services make it easier for you to sit on your ass and do as little as possible.

Seriously. Any new service or gadget that's new on the market which grants people the ability to be even lazier [if that's even possible] is sure to be a money maker. It's no wonder we are the fattest country in the world.

Now, I may sound like I'm bashing these ingenious, lazy-maker products, but I'm totally not. Oh no, quite to the contrary, I sing their praises. And why? Because I'm a slothful fuck, that's why. I like just clicking a button to change the channel (come on, who doesn't?), I like getting pizza delivered to my door, I like that I can call someone to come and mow my lawn, and I like that if I wanted to, I could order my groceries online and have them delivered to my door. Don't we all though?

My own procrastination is at the forefront of my existence. I often put off tasks, even tasks that would be fun, if they require to much energy expenditure or thought, in exchange for loafing around and letting my brain get mushy. I love vegging in front of the tv and I welcome the slight muscle atrophy that comes with surfing the web for hours on end. My life is consumed with to-do lists that never get done (and a reader that never gets emptied). I will drive the three blocks to my local CVS rather than walk. I will order pizza and groan because I have to get off the couch to open the door, rather than pick it up from the restaurant. I will always use the drive thru lane at the bank, which has a 5 car back-up, rather than get my ass out of the car and go inside where there is no line at all. You can always count on me to search like hell for the tv remote in the couch cushions, or watch whatever lame show is on, rather than actually get up to change the channel. I am that slothful.

I could go on and on about this forever. Seriously, I could, but I just don't feel like writing anymore or even coming up with a witty ending to my little diatribe. So, I'll finish it later...or tomorrow...or which ever comes first...::snore::

P.S. I'm at work right now and can't remember my Mister Linky password so I will add it when I get home...or ya know, later on sometime, whatever...

**UPDATE**

Would you like to hear a bit of irony? Today while at CVS, I locked my keys in my car. Yep. I had to walk three blocks home (oh the horror) to get my spare set, then walk back to CVS and get my car. So much for slothful, eh?

Also, when I said that I like that I can get groceries delivered...I don't actually do that, though I love that I have the option. I'm pretty sure it's more expensive for delivery and you can't use coupons. I'm even more of a cheap bitch than I am a slothful fuck so I'd rather go to the grocery store and use double coupons and stuff. Too bad Cheap As All Hell wasn't a deadly sin because I would embody that one to a T...seriously.

Sorry for the Reader Overload

2008-05-10T20:57:00.001-04:00

I am updating my posts by deleting old pics of my kids and things of that nature.

You will probably be seeing a bunch of my old posts pop up in your reader.

Just delete, delete, delete...and silently cuss me out.

Case File: Mystery of the Midnight P@nty R@id

2008-05-10T17:33:00.013-04:00

The Crime: "Big girl" undies all over the state have gone missing. Parents have checked the laundry, the toy box, and under the cribs to no avail. They seem to have disappeared.

The Evidence:

The suspects:
The Joisey Sisters. Skilled cat-burglars and trained cookie assassins.

Suspect Profiles:

L. "Sticky Fingers" Joisey
1. The technician
2. Charming, funny, the life of the party
3. Is often seen carrying a worn out old stuffed puppy
4. Wears socks on her hands to avoid leaving fingerprints
5. Overly friendly and talkative so as to distract you while she picks your pockets
6. Has managed to avoid prosecution in several other cases simply by tell the prosecutor that she was "sa-wee" and looking at her with "puppy dog eyes"
**Note: The prosecutor is convinced the "puppy dog eyes" technique is some sort of Jedi mind trick used to manipulate and terrorize. The official opinion of the department is that said prosecutor is just a big wuss.**

S. "The Brain" Joisey
1. Fearless, unpredictable, and tough as nails
2. The brains and the muscle
3. Often seen with her "binky", i.e. her pacifier
4. Known for her keen fashion sense and love of headbands
5. Head butts you to knock your ass out so she can pick your pockets...and steal your car...and take whatever snacks you have in your purse
6. Has never been caught and is considered armed [with a sippy cup] and extremely dangerous

As of today, suspects are still at large and terrorizing the community. We have several leads as to their whereabouts and hope to close this case in the near future. Updates will be posted as this case continues to unfold.

**UPDATE**A SUSPECT HAS BEEN APPREHENDED**

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-05-09T15:35:00.002-04:00

*Sugar Free Red Bull Edition*

Lovely little can,

Like liquid speed, but legal

RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS

Want to Wiggle some more? Go see Frances!

The Hottie in the Helmet

2008-05-08T14:39:00.005-04:00

Spring means warm weather and sunshine. Warm weather and sunshine means guys on motorcycles. Guys on motorcycles means guys wearing helmets, crouched seductively over their bikes. Guys wearing helmets and crouching seductively means me fantasizing about the hotness of said guys, and picturing them crouching seductively over me.

That said, lemme tell ya a little story that crosses my mind almost every time I see a guy go by on a motorcycle.

The year was 1996. I was 18 years old and a shiny new high school graduate hitting the Jersey shore for a weekend of fun and frolic with the girls. Allow me to set the scene for those of you who haven't ever had the privilege of experiencing the Jersey shore as a ~~horny, drunken, and rambunctious~~ teenager.

Our favorite beach was always overloaded with the finest and most well behaved youth in the state [insert sarcastic scoff here]. The hotels were shabby. The liquor flowed freely. And the local PD didn't seem to care about the scores of underage drunk kids that flooded the boardwalk. The food was greasy and the fights were abundant, but not as abundant as the hook ups. Ahhhh...heavy petting sessions with strange boys at the Jersey shore...seriously, one of my fondest memories. I get all *tingly* just thinking about it....mmmmm...what was I talking 'bout again? Oh yeah...

We seriously had some really great times.

One particular weekend, my friend Becky and I were headed back early to hang with some local boys who weren't staying down the shore with the rest of us. I still had my Camaro at that time. Black, t-tops, black & white zebra striped seat covers, red bandanna with accenting silver skull necklace hung from the rear view mirror, music blasting from the old, crackly speakers. I always drove in the summertime. Always. I didn't mind one bit either, ya know, t-tops and all.

Anyhoo...we just left the beach and jumped on the highway when He started following us. Tan, muscled arms, shiny lime green and black rice burner humming between his legs, helmet concealing his (surely) beautiful face.

We danced along the highway the entire way home. Weaving flirtatiously between each other. Exchanging (ahem) facial expressions and amorous words at stop lights. Well...I danced with him on the highway (being the driver and all) while Becky, my passenger, did most of the verbal communicating...we both were making...ummm...faces at him. Becky, however, was the one to make a connection with him. I was, admittedly, a bit envious. I mean, come on, this encounter had thus far made both our teenage loins shudder with anticipation.

Their conversation grew more intense at every light. (Turns out, the guy actually lived one town over from us, hence why he was going the same way we were.) With every brief encounter, I tried to be charming so as to sway his attention in my direction. I cooed, I batted my eyes, I smiled, and giggled, and did all of those annoying teenage girl things, but to no avail. Mighty Casey had struck out. Finally, ego shattered, I agreed to stop in a nearby Denny's parking lot so that he and Becky could chat face to face.

Nervous tension exploded in both our bellies as we waited, with breath baited, for our mystery man to approach and de-helmet so we could finally see his face.

In the parking lot, Becky and I watched from the car as he got off his bike. He had a sexy swagger in his walk which made us swoon. [Of course, now I realize it was just a response to riding spread-eagle on a vibrating bike for over an hour.] He made his way over to Becky's side of the car and took off his helmet. Becky and I gasp in...

Disgust.

He was a troll. (My ego suddenly re-inflated. Of course he didn't like me. I don't attract trolls.)

He's almost at the car when Becky looks at me, eyes like saucers, and mouths one word: GO

And, I do, but not before saying...

Geeeeeez Becky, you have like, the worst taste in men.

I haven't flirted with a man in a helmet since.

Terrible Tuesday - Gluttony

2008-05-06T16:20:00.001-04:00

Since I'm in the midst of an existential panic revolving around my weight, I thought it'd be appropriate to start with Gluttony.

In today's society, we mostly associate this deadly sin with food or drink. However, the root existence of this sin is much more broad and includes any '"unreasonable or unnecessary consumption and/or a refusal to share resources". For my purposes though, I'll focus on food.

I vividly remember my mother getting angry with us kids (my siblings and I) because we would eat all of the junk food in the house at a record pace. One day the cabinets were full, the next, barren. Seriously, we were bad.

We consumed as if we would never see another Oreo or Drake's cake ever again. Like the bag of chips we had was the last one on earth. Like junk food suddenly became outlawed. Unfortunately, I think I've regressed back to that childish mindset. I must have the last piece of chicken, keep your hands off the last cookie unless you want your fingers broken, and god forbid you finish the brownies. That's grounds for justifiable homicide in my house. Consume, consume, consume. Eat simply for the sake of eating. Eat because it's there. It's not healthy and honestly, not something I even realized I did until I wrote this post.

Thing is, I hate being hungry. I just don't like the feeling of an empty stomach. When I'm hungry I can think of nothing else but eating. Thoughts of food will consume me until I do. To be completely honest, thoughts of food consume me even when I'm not hungry these days.
(I wasn't always this way. I used to eat once, maybe twice a day, hunger pangs were a tolerable nuisance, and if I didn't eat, I didn't care. It really wasn't a big deal. Not so now. Now I'm so much more food focused. Because I have children perhaps? That's the only reason I can think of.)

Lately, I don't think twice about inhaling an entire tray of brownies, having that second serving of ice cream, or getting seconds at dinner. I have lost all sense of portion control and I like it. Ahhh, gluttony at it's finest. I do not however, like the face that stares back at me in the mirror. Where have my cheekbones gone?

The reasoning behind why I can no longer see my fabulous cheekbones is exactly why I think gluttony is the most shameful of the seven sins. You wear it on the outside for all to see. You cannot hide your gluttony. There is no pushing it down into the depths of your soul. Quite to the contrary, gluttony doubles your chin, thickens your waist, and dimples your ass. Gluttony hangs off your arms, bulges over your belt, and drips over your bra straps. Gluttony is disgusting and I'm embarrassed to admit how indulgent I am.

::pause::

There...that last paragraph. I've spent the past 10 minutes sitting here, finger poised on the backspace key, contemplating deletion. But no, it stays. The raw brutality of it is exactly what I was hoping to unleash with this series. Gluttony is a new enemy to me, one I'm not familiar with fighting. And, that's ok. I know there are millions like me who battle with food on a daily basis, who are disgusted by their eating habits, and who yearn for the strength to defeat this voracious demon. And I know that it's possible to do so. For me, it seems, the first step has been confronting the demon and releasing it thru the words in this post, and with that, I am satisfied.

Thank you Jill for being the inspiration behind the Seven Sins Carnival.

Sins post coming soon...

2008-05-06T12:29:00.002-04:00

My sins post will be up later today. (I'm running super late and can't finish it now.)

I'm planning on putting a Mr. Linky at the bottom of each sins post so that we can all see who is involved in the carnival so even if you have already rolled thru to let me know that you're playing, please come back later and post your link in Mr. Linky!!

Something to write about...YES!

2008-05-05T09:26:00.004-04:00

I'm excited. Finally I'm inspired to be creative. Jill(y-Bean) has brought up the whole seven deadly sins thing and have asked us all what our poison is. I love this. I love this because I have lots of poison and I would love to share it with you. Well...not to like, share it as in poison you or anything...I mean share as in...oh hell, you know what I mean.

I even found this cute girly graphic:

Super cute, right?

Maybe we should take this a step further and have a Seven Deadly Sins Carnival. How about Terrible Tuesday? Sounds good to me...considering Mondays stink, Wednesdays are typically wordless, Thursdays are reserved for 13's, Fridays Wiggle Iggle or Haiku, and Saturdays are for scrolling...Tuesdays are kinda the only thing left, right? So, for the next seven weeks (starting tomorrow) I will be doing Terrible Tuesday in which I will highlight how I embody each of the seven sins. Fun!

Care to join?

Seven Deadly ~~Chicks~~ Sins Graphics:
I'll be using these when I post about each of the sins. If you would like to use them too, please feel free.

Vanity/Pride

Note: If you do care to partake in Terrible Tuesdays, please don't forget to link to Jill.

Thrifty Chick Tutorials, Vol 1

2008-05-04T15:47:00.003-04:00

I just got back from another trip to CVS. This time however, I wasn't looking to "roll" ECB's or to stock my pantry with the latest and greatest "free after ECB" items. Nope. I needed diapers. But, you see, I didn't want to pay for them.

Pampers are on sale this week at CVS, but they are not an ECB deal. So, how do I buy the diapers I need for as little money as possible without burning up all of my ECB's? A look thru my remaining coupons showed me the way.

Pampers are on sale for $8.99. Pair that with the glucose monitor on sale for $10 (AND giving back $10 ECB's) and I could use my $4/$20 CVS coupon (with a candy bar or two as a filler) and use a Pampers coupon to bring my total down even more. Pay with ECB's and get back $10 ECB's for the monitor. Score.

Let's work the numbers, shall we:

2 Snickers (2/$1) = $1.00
1 Kit Kat Caramel (yum) = .59 cents
Pampers = $8.99
Glucose Monitor = $10.00
Total: $20.58
Used:
$4/$20 CVS Q
$1.50 Pampers Q
$13.99 ECB's
OOP = $1.09
Get $10.00 ECB's

Now, a CVS-ing snob would say that I didn't do well because I used $13.99 in ECB's and only made $10.00 in ECB's back, thereby losing $3.99 in ECB's. I say, ba-humbug. I paid just over $1 for diapers, dude. That's awesome in my book.

CVS deals can be used like this for a variety of items. You could try mixing your milk, bread, and snacks into a CVS deal your doing. This cuts down significantly on your grocery bill. The trick is to always put items that you need into the same transaction as an ECB giving item. Hopefully, you have some coupons also to really sweeten the deal.

For example:

Let's say ~~you~~ your kids love Oreos. Bonus. They are on sale this week at CVS (2/$5).

So:

2 packs Oreos = $5.00
2 tubes Aquafresh = $5.98
1 Colgate 360 = $3.99
.50 filler item = .50 cents
Total: $15.47
Use:
$3/$15 CVS Q
2 $1 Aquafresh Q's
$1 Colgate Q
Bringing your total to: $9.47
Pay using whatever ECB's you have plus cash (if necessary).
Get back $9.97 in ECB's

See. You just totally got 2 packages of Oreos for free or close to free. Now, you won't have to spend the money to buy them at the grocery store.

Do you have a family of soda drinkers? Pepsi is on sale this week. Let's see how we can work it in.

Pepsi 12 packs (3/$10) = $10.00
2 Colgate 360 = $7.98
1 Aquafresh = $2.99
Total: $20.97
Use:
$4/$20 CVS Q
2 - $1 Colgate Q's
$1 Aquafresh Q
Total: $13.97
Pay using whatever ECB's you have plus cash (if necessary).
Get $10.97 ECB's

You just crossed Pepsi off of your grocery list.

Questions? Feel free to email me or leave me a comment. I'd be more than happy to help you figure out a deal.

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-05-04T11:30:00.003-04:00

Another light CVS trip. I really just don't need anything. However, the new monthly deals started up and surprise, surprise, my store actually had the items in stock. So, I celebrated by taking advantage of a few of the free items offered.

Interestingly enough, CVS seems to have lowered the max buying amount of some of the ECB items from 5 down to 3. I think this is a wonderful idea. This way more peeps can take advantage of the deals before they are all bought out by greedy, scum-sucking, CVS abusers.

Anyway, the glucose monitor will be donated to a local church, the toothpaste will too probably. As for the toothbrushes, Hubs LOVES them, they are the Colgate 360's, so those I'll keep a little stock pile of. =)

Ok, time to crunch some numbers.

Transaction 1:

Glucose Monitor: $10.00

Colgate 360: $3.99

3 Aquafresh: $8.97

Used:

$4/20 CVS Q

3 $1.50 Aquafresh Q's

1 Colgate Q

$11.00 ECB's

OOP: $2.46

Get $22.96 in ECB's

Transaction 2:

2 Colgate 360's: $7.98

2 Colgate 360 Sonic*: $13.98

Used:

4 Colgate Q's

$3/$15 CVS Q

$12.96 ECB's

OOP: $2.42

Get $7.98 ECB's

*The Sonic's were not on sale or giving ECB's back, however, I have been trying to find these since last month.

Check out more deals and steals at Money Saving Mom!

Wiggle Iggle Friday Saturday

2008-05-03T18:48:00.002-04:00

Because I spent the afternoon digging out all of my long, gauzy skirts and beaded jewlery...

Half Neekid in the City

2008-04-27T17:21:00.005-04:00

The rain subsided. There were clouds, it was chilly, but the rain stopped, and I was hopeful it would stay that way.

We rode into the city with Stella and her adorable baby girl. We were making good time and looking forward to a great day when it happened. Vom-it. It was sudden, it was stinky, and it was covering my daughter from the neck down. I had to strip off her clothing. All of it. Her shirt, pants, and jacket were swimming in vanilla soy milk and banana regurgitated mush. Bleh. Thankfully, I had brought along a thin hoodie for her and Stella had a warmer hoodie in the car, otherwise my poor baby would have been completely neekid except for a diaper and sneakers.

So, because I had a half neekid toddler on a 50 degree day, there was no way I was going to take her into the zoo to run around and catch a cold. Most of the time I held her as she squirmed in my arms dying to run around with the OhKiddos. The other half, she sat in her stroller, wrapped in my pashmina, munching happily on goldfish crackers and sipping a juice box.

Instead of going into the zoo as planned we all just kind of hung out and chatted. I felt terrible for spoiling the plans, but my bloggy buds were all totally understanding and for that I am thankful. I really did feel awful especially for OhMommy and co. because they are here on vacay. CMomma, Stella, and myself are close enough to do this again, but OhMommy lives a bit too far away for an afternoon playdate in the city. Luckily, OhSister was there and was able to take the OhKiddos into the (oh)zoo whilst we chatted.

As for my bloggy buds, they were as fabulous in person as they are in the blogosphere:

OhMommy is so put together and stylish, but in such an effortlessly chic way. She's proof that you can be a great mom yet still take care of yourself and your appearance. Classy really is the perfect word to describe her (and not just because she dresses well). Down to earth, warm, and welcoming would be a few others. Seriously, she has one of those smiles that instantly puts you at ease and her slight midwestern accent is completely endearing. She's a doll and I wish I had more time to get to know her better (and get some fashion tips). The OhKiddos, by the way, looked like they jumped right off of her blog and onto the city streets which is, I think, a real testament to OhMommy's skills as a photographer. Not many people can capture life so accurately.

CMomma is a feisty, feisty chick. She's down to earth, sharp as a tack, f.u.n., and you like her immediately. I have to say that I was the most nervous about meeting her because she's the one I "know" the least. However, every ounce of nervousness evaporated when I met her. Seriously, she practically has "Let's Be Friends" stamped on her forehead. I could really see me and CMomma bonding over tequila shots some day...something tells me that she'd be a BLAST to get drunk with. She also brought her Hubby along, which is not quite the "Alex & Simon" event that you might be thinking it was. (Ha!) He was actually gone most of the time chasing after CMomma's spirited little boy. CDaddy got his cardio in yesterday, lemme tell ya'.

And then there's Stella. Stella, who went out of her way to pick me up. Stella, who navigated the city traffic like a champ. Stella, who didn't bat an eye over the mess of vomit in her car and instead was concerned for L. Stella, who offered to leave the playdate early if need be in order to drive me and my sick child home. Stella has wit, spunk, and sass all wrapped up in a pretty little package. And she's a sweetheart too. Stella is a diamond in the rough of the blogosphere and I see many more playdates (hopefully not involving vomit) in our future. (She doesn't know it yet, but she's totally my BFF now and I'm going to stalk her and call her and text her every single day.)

I was amazed at how easy it was to stand around and chat with women I haven't ever actually met before. It was effortless, it was comfortable, it was familiar. We were like what happens after Sex in the City...Blogging and Babies in the City! (I've totally been trying to assign each of us a SATC character, but I keep having this internal debate on who gets to be whom and finally just gave up.)

Seriously though, it was really fun meeting them face to face. And, since we missed out on actually going into the zoo, maybe another meeting should be planned...anyone up for it?? (I promise to bring a change of clothes for my kid in the event that she gets carsick again.)

Sunday Saturday Steals and Deals

2008-04-26T15:42:00.002-04:00

I probably won't be around much tomorrow to post my Sunday Steals and Deals so I'm doing it today. This week I went to two stores other than my usual store and, man, did it make a difference. The staff at these two stores were coupon friendly and marvelled at my bargain shopping prowess. Nothing like a good, hard ego stroking, eh?

So here's the deal:

Transaction 1:
1 Huggies Mega Pack = $13.99
2 Alavert D-12 = $13.98
3 Essence of Beauty items = $5.97
1 Pepcid EZ Chew (25 ct) = $9.99
Used $4/20 CVS Q = -$4.00
Used $3/15 CVS Q = -$3.00
Used 2 Alavert Q's = -$8.00
Used Pepcid CRT -$2.00
Used Pepcid Q = -$2.00
Used Huggies CRT = -$2.00
Used Huggies Q = -$2.00
Used ECB's = -$19.95
OOP = .98 CENTS
Get $18.00 ECB's ($8 Alavert, $5 EOB items, $5 Pepcid)
**NOTE: You're all probably wondering why there is a Pampers Mega Pack in the pic instead of a Huggies Mega Pack. Well, I bought the wrong size Huggies in my haste and no CVS store in my area had the correct size (I called about 8 stores). So, I had to do something unethical and I'm not proud. I returned the Huggies to Target and used the gift card they gave me to buy the Pampers. It actually balanced out to almost the same exact price so I guess it wasn't all that unethical after all. I mean, I didn't make any money from doing this, not that I was trying to.

Transaction 2:
Viva Paper Towels 8 pack = $6.49
CVS Rapid Release (24 ct) = $3.99
2 Herbal Essence Shamp/Cond = $4.29 (BOGO)
1 Old Spice Deodorant = $3.29
Used $3/$15 CVS Q = -$3.00
Used Viva CRT = -$1.00
Used HE Q = -$3.00
Used Old Spice Q = -$2.00
Used ECB's = -$8.00
OOP = $1.46
Get $4.99 ECB's ($1 Viva, $3.99 CVS Rapid Release)

That makes a total of $2.44 paid for $62.39 worth of stuff. *Patting myself on the back*

Check out Money Saving Mom for more amazing deals.

Wiggle Iggle Effing Friday

2008-04-25T09:59:00.002-04:00

*dreadlocks edition*

I'm trying to ignore that fact that everytime I check the weather forecast, the projected high temperature drops lower and lower and the chance of showers gets higher and higher.

It will not rain on my parade on Sunday. It just won't.

To keep my spirits up I give you Mr. Lenny EFFING Kravitz.

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

2008-04-24T09:16:00.003-04:00

We all have a breaking point. I reached mine two days ago when I cut the legs off of a pair of panty hose simply because I needed the control top to wear under my pants. Let me tell you, That. Was. It.

Over the past coupla months my weight has ballooned. I'm blaming the fact that I stopped working in the shoe department of a local department store which, to be honest, was my cardio, quitting smoking yet taking up snacking (never a good combo), and going vegetarian (carb & cheese overload). Whammo...15 lbs heavier. I've honestly never been so out of shape, so heavy, in my life, and I'm disgusted.

The the average person on the street, I am not fat. I'm normal, I guess. However, I feel fat. I feel flabby. I feel out of shape. Before children and settling down with Hubs, the gym was a part of my daily routine. I was really fit and that's why I'm so bummed about my body now, because I know what I'm capable of doing. I know what I'm capable of looking like. I know I can do it again.

It's going to take some work. (I'm not as young as I used to be.) It's going to take some time. (Which I don't have much of these days.) It's going to take eating meat again. (Gasp) I feel terrible about this, I really do, but there is no other way. My body responds quickly to high protein, low carb and I just can't do that without eating meat. If there is one thing I learned from being a vegetarian, it's that I really don't like beans and tofu and veggie burgers and fake chicken patties just aren't cutting it.

This weekend was the first time I bought meat in months. Standing in front of the poultry case, gazing down at the rows of little chicken carcasses made me nauseous. I went Veg because of the brutality of the meat industry, and it's still a big issue for me, but at this point I see no way around it. My diet is still very veggie focused so my meat consumption will be minimal yet enough to make a difference. I also plan on keeping at least two days a week meat free so as to ease my conscience.

I've also stopped using excuses for not being able to work out. I've tried working out at night after the kiddos go to sleep, and I'm just too effing tired. I can't afford to join a gym or buy a treadmill, and I am not one of those gals who goes running. So that leaves good ol' workout DVD's and a 7am workout schedule. I am soooo NOT a morning person, but like I said, no more excuses. It's do or die, baby.

My darling April gifted me an award for Reader Appreciation Day not to long ago. I'm using that gift to get a coupla more super fat burning DVD's. (See that April, you're helping my ass get smaller...doesn't that just make you feel all warm and fuzzy?)

Anyone have any recommendations? I'm familiar with the Firm line (I have a few of those), I have pilates and yoga DVD's, I'm familiar with TaeBo, but definately don't have the energy for that at 7am. I'm looking for a straight up cardio workout. Suggestions?

By the way, I'm not the only one who reached her breaking point...my sister did too. She has actually been participating in a get fit program thru her job and in a month she has lost over 12 lbs! (By the way, a free company gym is just one of the reasons I'm trying so hard to get a job where she works.) She has some extra motivation, though, her company is offering a trip for two to whomever loses the most weight. Go, Jenny Whisky, Go!! (And, take me, take me!!)

Complete and Utter Randomness

2008-04-21T14:40:00.002-04:00

Firstly, I just know that all 18 of you who left a comment for the Glucose Giveaway are dying to know who won. I'm at work now and don't have a kid or a camera handy to document a drawing so I just used random.org's integer generator to pick the winner. Now, I have no idea how to paste a screen shot of the number picked, so hopefully you all settle for this:

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:8
Timestamp: 2008-04-21 18:39:03 UTC

That means the 8th commenter has won the glucose monitor. Just so happens the 8th commenter is none other than OhMommy herself. I'm not even joking. Turns out, she's so sweet that she needs a glucose monitor! Bwahahaha...what...you didn't think that was funny?!?

Ahem...anyway, this actually works out because my cheap ass doesn't even have to pay for postage because I will actually be seeing her in the flesh, this weekend. We have a playdate all set up. And by we, I mean, Kelly, OhMommy, Stella, and myself...oh, and our collective kiddos. Exciting, yes?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bought this and this for my kiddos this weekend. The first is the outside play thingy, the second is the inside play thingy. They love them both.

The weather has been absolutely beautiful here lately, but the kids are always kind of bored when I take them outside. They can only get so much fun out of bubbles and sidewalk chalk, ya know. So we picked up that little slide thingy to keep them occupied. The tunnel thingy is to keep them from getting bored on rainy days inside. It is rather large and does take up my entire living room, but it's completely collapsible which means in two weeks, I break it down and stick it in the closet. Two weeks later, when I take it out again, it's like they're seeing it for the first time. At least, I hope it works this way.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been using a bit of that self tanning moisturizer that's so popular now. Got it practically free from CVS so why not, right. Only on my face though...haven't been brave enough to attempt a streak-free application on my bod. Can you just picture the positions I'll have to get into to put that shit on my back?? Anyway...

I'm admiring my slightly ~~orange~~ golden complexion in the mirror today...my hair is up and wrapped in a pink head scarf, my big hoop earrings are dangly and framing my face nicely, I'm feeling bohemian chic at it's best...until...I turn my head for a profile view and realize that I forget to put self tanner on my ears. D'OH!

Yep, tan face, white ears. Sooooo NOT a good look for me. Here's hoping my face fades before my playdate this weekend so the girls don't laugh at me too hard. Heh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a car accident in front of my house on Saturday night. A bad one. A car actually ran into a house. I knew this would happen eventually as there is an accident at this particular spot at least once a month. And the car that is doing the hitting is always going in the same direction. Evidently, there is a blind spot when you're stopped at the stop sign there, so you dart out into traffic just in time to get t-boned by an oncoming vehicle. Nice, eh? I'm seriously considering rallying the neighborhood to petition the township for a traffic light at that intersection.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A'right...that's all I got for now. Live, love, and prosper, people. Later.

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-04-20T16:29:00.007-04:00

It was a very small CVS trip this week. I really don't need anything. However, I really do want to take advantage of the Nexxus deal so I made it a point to pick that up. Oh, and it seems my CVS bitch manager has lightened up. The past two times I was in she actually didn't trip over her own feet to get the register in time to ring me up. Bonus!

Also, my rebates for two of the razors I bought came in on Saturday. I received two checks for $8.99 each. Pretty quick turnaround considering I sent them in during the last few days of March. I'm impressed.

Anyhoo...I'm tired today. I had a CVS trip planned, but here I sit, in my sweats, blogging. So let's get on with it, shall we...

ECB = Extra Care Bucks
Q = Coupon
OOP = Out of Pocket
BOGO = Buy one get one free

Transaction 1:
2 Essence of Beauty Toe Separators = $1.98
1 Essence of Beauty Mesh Facial Sponge = $1.99
1 Bottle Nexxus Moisture Treatment = $12.49 (For my fried, blonde-ish hair)
1 Bottle Nexxus Conditioner = $12.49
CVS Q = -$4.00
ECB's used = -$23.00
OOP expense = $1.95 + tax
Get $15.00 ECB's ($10 from Nexxus, $5 from Essence of Beauty)

Transaction 2:
2 bags M&M's = $3.29 (BOGO)
2 Bottles Herbal Essence = $4.29 (BOGO)
1 Nexxus Shampoo = $8.69
Herbal Essence Q = -$3.00
ECB's used = -$10.00
OOP expense = $3.71
ECB's earned = $3.00 (M&M's)
(I will earn $10 more ECB's once I buy another bottle of Nexxus)

Crap...I just realized I was supposed to pick a winner for the glucose monitor giveaway. I'll announce the winner on my next post, ok? Ok. I'm too lazy to have my kid pick the winner now. Instead, I'm going to grab a bag of M&M's and hope there is a Top Model, Real Housewives, or What Not To Wear marathon on the tube.

But first, a quick peak at what I plan on doing at CVS this week:

Transaction 1:
Mennen 27/7 deodorant @ $3.99 (USE $1/1 Q)
2 CVS Pain Reliever @ $7.98
1 Essence of Beauty item @ $1.99 (USE $2/$10 CVS purchase Q)
1 Garnier Towelettes (USE $5 Garnier gift cert)
1 Herbal Essence Shamp/Cond = $4.29 (BOGO) (USE $3/2 Q)
USE $4/$20 CVS Q
USE $8.00 ECB's
OOP = $1.24 = tax
Get $11.97 ECB's

Transaction 2:
Garnier Face Moist @ $12.49 (USE $5 Garnier gift cert)
Pepcid AC Ez (25 ct) @ $9.99 (USE CVS & Manf Q $4)
USE $4/$20 CVS Q
USE $7.98 ECB's
OOP = $1.51 + tax
Get $10.00 ECB's

Transaction 3:
2 bottles Herbal Essence @ $4.29 (BOGO & $3/2 Q)
8 pk Viva Paper Towels @ $6.49 (.50 Q)
Excedrin 24 ct @ $1.99 ($2/1 Q)
2 CVS Pain Relievers @ $7.98
2 Essence of Beauty Items @ 3.98 ($2/10 CVS Q)
USE $4/$20 CVS Q
USE $13.99 ECB's
OOP = $0

Check out Money Saving Mom for more about CVS savings.

Wiggle Iggle Friday

2008-04-18T20:17:00.003-04:00

*the barefoot edition*

It was 80 degrees and sunny as all hell today.

Perfect weather for this song.

Note: Probably the only hippidy hoppidy song I enjoy.

So, my day was beyond lovely. How was yours?

In defense of my CVS addiction

2008-04-16T14:57:00.005-04:00

I've been spending some time lately perusing the bargain shopping forums and blogs. Yes, yes, I know...I'm a big couponing loser who reads frugal living sites...so shoot me.

Anyway, it seems my CVS addiction is not so bad after all. I have ONE Extra Care Card. With that one card I rarely max out on the deals going on. (Although I fully intend on maxing out the Nexxus deal cuz Nexxus rocks my socks.) I do alot of damage with my one card. You've all seen the photos of my booty closet. (I feel dirty just looking at those pictures.) Because of my plentiful stockpile, I have really slowed down on my CVS-ing. (Don't even mention the cereal. It's half gone already. I'm not even joking. Hubs eats cereal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack, not to mention that the kiddos eat it too. We only have 8 boxes of Cheerios left. That's 5 boxes in 3 days people. AND 2 of the 3 boxes of Apple Jacks I bought are gone also.) And, I fully plan on doing a booty basket giveaway, as I've mentioned before. As for the monitor, well, the deal was great. I couldn't pass it up. Originally, I meant to give it to my stepfather who is diabetic, however, he uses a different monitor. Hence the other giveaway.

Anyway, what I read on the forums actually shocked me. Apparently, there are ~~greedy, hoarding bastards~~ people who actually get more than one CVS card so they can max out each deal on each card. And by more than one, I mean, like, 10. I'm not even joking. They actually buy coupons online, stock pile them, and then stockpile CVS shit. Someone actually has 90 coupons for the monitor that I just bought. 90!! Another person proudly displays their current year to date savings as just over $9,000.00!! Can you imagine? I mean, it's only April and they already saved nine grand! Someone else bought 30 bags of M&M's. Really, who needs that much shit?

I can see getting your husband a CVS card and then maxing out the really good deals on the stuff that you really will use on both cards. That makes perfect sense to me. Go ahead and stock up on diapers. Stock up on razors. Donate the excess and the stuff that you will not use, but couldn't pass up (like the ONE monitor I bought), but for pete's sake, leave some stuff there so that others may take advantage of the same sales. Why be greedy? Why buy out every deal in every store in your area just to stick it in your closet as bragging rights or worse yet, sell it for a profit?

I'm actually disgusted. Some claim to donate the stuff to charity, and maybe some really do. Most, however, keep it all for themselves, or they resell it. Here's what gets me the most, many of these people are deeply religious. At least they claim to be. But really, how "godly" can you be when your giving in to greed on a daily basis?

I can't help but snicker when these people talk about the godliness of frugal living and the blessing of coupons.

bless·ing [bles-ing] a favor or gift bestowed by god, thereby bringing happiness

The blessing of coupons...**snort**...please.

Setting your alarm for 12:01am so that you can spring out of bed and run to the nearest CVS to buy them out of shit you don't need just so that no one else gets it is not godly. Going out of your way to clean out every CVS within a 30 mile radius and shouting "Mine, all mine!" is not godly. And coupons, printed by manufacturers to entice the public into buying their products are not a blessing, they are advertising. God did not make those coupons, Proctor and Gamble did. And much to the contrary beliefs of our capitalistic society, P&G is not god. Unless every single one of these people is donating at least half of their free shit, I don't buy the godly talk.

With that said, I understand how addicting CVS-ing can be because I love it myself. I understand the pride that comes with being thrifty, with having a closet well stocked with stuff that you need. I understand the excitement of finding a great deal, and I understand that coupon shopping and bargain hunting is almost an art form that needs to be practised, fine tuned, and perfected.

HOWEVER, I also understand my desires to "spread the wealth". I understand that there are others out there who haven't yet discovered CVS-ing, who haven't learned how much money they can save using coupons, and who struggle every week to buy the stuff that they need because of it. I enjoy showing others the art of couponing and bargain hunting. I enjoy seeing others embrace frugality. I willingly assist anyone who wants to learn about what I do. It gives me great joy to help others. I feel a moral obligation to pass on my savings to others via coupon education and giveaways and so I do. Sharing is caring, people!

Having said all that, I realize that I am more godly than most of these other people and I don't even know if I believe in god! That in itself should give them something to think about.

The amount of money you save does not define you.
The amount of free shit in your closet does not define you.
The amount of ECB's in your wallet does not define you.

**Stepping off soapbox and walking away** (Cue loud applause)

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-04-13T14:37:00.006-04:00

I rocked CVS this week and I'm not even close to being done. My fav hair care line (Nexxus) is giving back ECB's and I am stoked. Totally.

Now, I've noticed that there seems to be 4 types of CVS employees:

Type A: Hates to see customers get good deals and will adhere strictly to any coupon policy in place. In the event that an otherwise valid manufacturer's coupon doesn't work, they will refuse to push it thru. They may even make it a point to man the register when they see a known couponer walk thru the door.

Type B: Loves to see customers get good deals. Marvel at your coupon and thrift shopping prowess. Will gladly accept and push thru any and all coupons you have.

Type C: The emotionally stunted, indifferent employee who takes all of your coupons unless the manager is standing over their shoulder. And in the event that you successfully purchase mass quantities of products for mere pennies, they don't even react.

Type D: The annoyed teenager. They hate their job. They hate their managers. They hate CVS. They hate coupons. They hate you. 'Nuff said on this one.

As it just so happens, the manager in the CVS closest to me is a Type A. That ruthless bitch hunts me down when I'm in her store. Unfortunately, that CVS is literally around the corner from me and therefore the most convenient. Never fear though, I did a search of all the CVS's in my area and found that there are like 15 within a 10 mile radius of my home. Yuppers. So I shuffled my little ass over to a different CVS this week.

ECB's = Extra Care Bucks - a money back promotion linked to your CVS Extra Care Card
OOP = Out of Pocket spending
Q = coupon

Transaction 1:
(Last weeks deals.)
2 Twin Pks Cheerios = $15.98
1 Excedrin (24 ct) = $1.99
3 pks Toe Sep = $2.97
In Touch Mag = $2.99
Cheerios Q = -$3.69
Excedrin Q = -$2.00
ECB's = -$15.50
OOP = $2.74
Get $14.00 ECB's

I had a Type D cashier for this one. She hassled me over a completely legit Q for $1 off of 2 boxes of Cheerios. She didn't want to push it thru saying that I couldn't use it on a twin pack even though there was no such exclusion printed on the Q itself. I fought her on it and thought she pushed it thru, but now, typing this, I realize that she didn't. Bitch. Yes, I know it's only a dollar, but a dollar here and a dollar there add up.

I did a variation of this deal before. As you can see here, I have many, many boxes of Cheerios. Thirteen to be exact. It must be noted that 5 of the 13 boxes of Cheerios also have a Q on them for $1.50 off a pack of Pampers. So, not only did I score a great deal on the cereal, but I also get Q's that I desperately need. As if I don't have enough cereal here, Apple Jacks were on sale at Pathmark this week and I made a special trip just to get them. My kids (L, S, and the Hubs who is just a big kid in disguise) love Apple Jacks. Also, I got a special organic cereal for myself. That makes a grand total of 17 boxes of cereal . Wow.

Transaction 2:
Contour Glucose Monitor = $14.99
Contour Q = -$14.99
OOP = $0 - FREE
Get $14.99 ECB's

Transaction 3:
2 Nexxus Shamp/Cond = $21.18
CVS Q = -$4.00
ECB's = -$15.99
OOP = $1.27
Get $10.00 ECB's

The CVS Q from Trans 3 is a $4 off $20 purchase coupon. It does say on the Q that there is only one per customer. My Type A CVS manager enforces this strictly, hence my needing to go elsewhere. Since I don't let her rain on my parade I still did well...$60.10 worth of stuff for $4.01. HA! Take that you nazi, Type A, CVS bitch!

And also, I am not diabetic. I only bought the blood glucose monitor because it was not only FREE, but paid me $14.99 in ECB's to purchase it. So, it's time for a giveaway. If you, or someone you know is diabetic and you would like this monitor then leave me a comment. I'll pick the winner during next week's Steals and Deals post.

Monitor Details: (as per the box)
Ascensia Contour Blood Glucose Monitoring System (1 kit)
5 second test time
no coding required
pre/post meal test marking for better glucose control
uses Ascensia Contour Blood Glucose Test Strips

See more CVS madness at Money Saving Mom!

Wiggle Effing Iggle Drunken Friday

2008-04-11T21:49:00.002-04:00

I'm all kindsa buzzed up over here. Sriosly. So buzzed in fact that I refuse to correct my errosr or to use my spell check. Hope it doesn't annoy you too much. It's more for dramatical effect. =)

Thanks all for your kind words. I think you're all correct, I'm being way to effing serious about this shitz. I need to relax and entertain you all. My purpose? To blog. There, not so hard, was it? =)

I'm using too many smileys. I don't care. I'm drunk. =) I'm allowed to do whateverthehell I want when I'm drunik. Heh. I bought myself a botle of sparkling wine today. Yep, sparkling. Pretty and sparkling. Heh...I'm buzzed...hehehe. Mental note: drink more things that sparkle.

So, have I told you how much I love Wiggle Iggle Fridays? I love them. They rock. I also love the gal who came up with the idea. Go and visit her, ok? Ok. Oh, btw, she lives here.

Funy thing...I HATE the song I'm posting. Ok, so I don't hate it, but I DON'T LIKE it either. Why? Cuz it's annoying as hell, but it's stuck in my head so now it will be stuck in yours too. I'm not even gonna tell ya what it is. YOu're gonna hafta click and find out for yourselves.

Que Paso a Casa de Luna

2008-04-07T20:15:00.002-04:00

I have answered the eternal question:

Do blondes have more fun?

No. They. Don't.

If you clicked on the link then you know why I say this.

Before. After. Before. After.

No comparison. And trust me when I say that it looks even more hideous in real life. It looks as if I have soaked my head in someone's toilet bowl after they took their morning, dehydrated pee. You know, when your urine is really, really dark golden yellow. Yep. That's my hair. Ick.

It's a long road to recovery now. I implemented the first phase last night. Now I am at a lovely baby poo like dirty blonde. I ask myself what's better...pee blonde or baby poo blonde. I really don't know the answer to that.

Luna Lesson #51: STOP COLORING YOUR HAIR AT HOME.

My kids also had themselves a heinous hair incident. Seems while Hubs was ~~diligently cleaning and scrubbing the kitchen floor while also making dinner~~ playing video games in the bedroom, the kids stood on some toys in order to reach the jar of Vaseline that's on top of their dresser. The full, brand new, full jar of Vaseline. Did I mention that it was full? Was being the operative word here. Yeah. It's not full anymore. They stole the jar, hustled their little tushs back into the living room where they sat next to each other on the couch and covered themselves from head to toe in gobs and gobs of Vaseline. The entire jar...GONE. Hubs took pictures using his camera phone. I'll post them soon.

So, yeah...my relaxing break from blogging...not. so. relaxing. Boo.

I'm around alot though. Mostly while I'm supposed to be working. Heh. I've caught up a good deal on the overflow that's in my reader. However, I will continue to only post sporatically throughout the week. Most likely only when I have something to write about. I have to say, I really missed not posting on Wiggle Iggle Friday or Sunday Steals and Deals. I don't think I'ma skip those days ever again.

Be back soon.

I need a wife

2008-04-01T15:15:00.002-04:00

With spring upon us I have completely switched gears into cleaning mode. My house is almost spotless which is saying a lot because my home seems especially vulnerable to cobwebs. I've never seen anything like it. I actually have to vacuum the walls on a regular basis or they get all cob webby. Gross.

So, yeah, I'm tapped. The cooking, the cleaning, the kids, the grocery shopping...ugh! I need a wife. Seriously. Hubs has no interest in helping. (Nope, my plan didn't work and now I am not only hating him, but exhausted as well.) I'm starting to think Roseanne was onto something when she and Tom Arnold brought another chick into their marriage. It wasn't a sex thing, Roseanne just wanted someone else around who would help scrub toilets and do dishes!

Also, I have taken notice to how big my kids are getting. My baby who was once such a chunky monkey is now thinning out and getting taller. Her words are coming more clearly now and with much more confidence. She's becoming more and more like a toddler and less and less like the baby girl I rocked to sleep. The ages they are at right now are so precious, so fleeting and I do not want to miss a single minute. Funny how it just hits you right? How you just suddenly realize how fast your children are growing?

Anyway, between cleaning and my undying affection for playing endless games with my children coupled with my new affinity for working out on my Total Gym, and you get a girl who hardly has the time or the energy to keep up with blogging.

However, I refuse to just empty my reader with the click of the mouse. I am determined to read each and every post in there. And I will, too. I may not comment, but I will read. My bloggy buds are my friends and I am ~~nosey as hell~~ always interested to hear what's going on in their world, ya know.

So, I'll be around, albeit not often, but still...some bloggy time is better than no bloggy time. I'm currently focusing on visiting those who I haven't visited in a while. I'm embarrassed to say that some blogs have as many as 5 posts backed up in my reader. Oh. The. Shame. I'm working on it. Like I said, I don't like to skip anything.

(Oh, and I have awards that need to be updated on my Bling page. I hate that I haven't acknowledged those who have given me bling. It's terrible manners and I will definately be righting this soon. I just wanted to mention it so no one feels slighted.)

Later my darlings. Mwah.

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-03-30T12:33:00.003-04:00

I had every intention of blog hopping and catching up on all of the posts in my reader this weekend. Yeah, that didn't happen. What happened was, I spent hours pouring over my new Photoshop instructional book that I got in the mail on Friday.

I got the book for free. You see, aside from couponing and CVS-ing, I also belong to those survey sites and one pays in amazon e-certificates. I simply cashed in my points and had enough to get myself the Photoshop book and a DVD for the girls. Score!

Now, on to my purchases this week. I had this shit all planned out. I mean, to the penny. Of course, all did not go as planned. Apparently, CVS no longer accepts some coupons printed off of the internet. Specifically, CVS coupons, such as the $5/$15 ($5 off of a $15 purchase). And, it seems I cannot use the $3 off beauty products coupon in conjunction with the $5/$15. Boo. That beauty coupon was a corner stone of my savings. **Sigh** Once again, my plan was thrown out the window and I was forced to wing-it at the register which always makes me get flustered and nervous even when I'm organized.

Here's how I did:
OOP = Out of pocket
ECB's = Extra Care Bucks (a promotion linked to your CVS Extra Care Card)

Transaction 1:
4 SoftSoap Spa Body Wash: $19.96
CVS coupon: -$5.00
SoftSoap Coupons: -$4.00
ECB's used: -$5.00
OOP: $6.66
Get $19.96 ECB's

Transaction 2:
2 Garnier Hair Color: $15.98
1 Old Spice Deodorant: $3.69
CVS coupon: -$8.00
Garnier coupon: -$6.00
Old Spice Coupon: -$2.00
OOP: $4.49
Get $5.00 ECB's

Transaction 3:
2 Maybelline Lip Gloss: $17.97
CVS coupon: -$5.00
Maybelline coupons: -$6.00
ECB's used: -$5.00
OOP expense: $2.53
Get $5.00 ECB's

Transaction 4:
1 Dove Bodywash: $5.99
1 Lever 2000 8 pack: $5.99
2 Glade Sprays: $3.38
1 Q-Tips: $3.69
CVS coupon: -$5.00
Glade coupon: -$1.00
Lever coupon: -$1.00
Dove coupon: -$1.00
ECB's used: -$10.00
OOP expense: $1.33
NO ECB's EARNED*
*I fucked up here. I was supposed to buy one more Lever or Dove item to earn the ECB's. Ooops. Guess I'll have to go back to CVS again =)

Transaction 5:
3 Jergens Lotion: $17.97
1 Neutrogena Body Oil: $15.99
CVS coupon: -$5.00
Jergens coupons: -$3.00
ECB's used: -$28.44
OOP expense: .21 cents
Get $10.00 ECB's

Transaction 6:
All Laundry Detergent: $3.00
2 Lady Speed Stick: $6.00
1 SoftSoap Body Wash: $4.99
CVS coupon: -$5.00
SoftSoap coupon: -$1.00
Speed Stick coupons: -$2.00
All coupon: -$0.50
ECB's used: -$5.00
OOP expense: $2.87
Get $3.00 ECB's

That's a grand total of $18.09 paid OOP for $129.04 worth of products. That's an 86% savings. **pouting** I totally should've done better. I bummed I couldn't use those beauty coupons. I would have saved an additional $3.00 per transaction.

Plus, I bought this awesome vanilla bean organic shampoo and conditioner. Neither were on sale or giving ecb's, but I can send away for a rebate on one (which I totally will). And I had to buy the newspaper (2 copies actually...coupons are great this week) and some cold medicine and smokes for Hubs. So I actually spent over $40 bucks today so maybe that's why I don't feel like I did as well as usual. But, I do have about $40.00 in rebates pending so I guess it will even out.

Ok, enough with the sulking. I have an idea brewing...tell me what you think. I'm thinking of doing a Thrifty Chick CVS Booty Basket Giveaway. Basically, I'm just going to put together a bountiful booty basket to raffle off to my lovely readers. Sound good? If there seems to be an interest then I'll put the basket together, take a pic, and let you know how I'm going to go about doing this.

Wiggle Iggle Friday + Meme Time

2008-03-28T09:39:00.003-04:00

The always lovable Stella tagged me to do that 7 Random/Weird Things Meme that has been sweeping thru the blogosphere like wildfire. I adore Stella and will do almost anything she tells me to do so here goes:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

#1 - I sleep on a mattress on the floor. No box spring. No bed frame. Initially, it was because we were too poor to buy a bed. Now, we just like it better. Seriously. It's rad. The only downfall is that the sheets get really filthy, really quickly because we are constantly walking on the mattress.

#2 - I rescued my cat from the street. However, she wasn't exactly homeless. She belonged to my Hubs' cousin who wasn't taking care of her very well. Every time we went over there to visit she would run out of the alley near their house and beg us for attention (and food). My heart ached for this furry creature who was desperate for love and affection, so I threw her in my car and took her home. My Pookie is now fat and sublimely happy. (And she picked her own name. But that's another story completely)

#3 - I can't eat foods that jiggle. Jello. Eggs. Rice pudding. Shit like that. Bleh. Makes me nauseous.

#4 - I taught myself how to do gymnastics as a kid. Yep. Me and my friendly neighborhood bitches used to spot each other. None of us knew what we were doing, but somehow we all learned how to do front handsprings, back walkovers, cart wheels, and bridges and no one got hurt. Well, ok, one girl broke her nose, but that was because she used her newly found gymnastical prowess to do flips on the diving board and well, it didn't work out so well.

#5 - It took me over an hour to write this post so far. I just can't seem to think of anything else that's weird or random that I haven't already shared.

#6 - I didn't go to my prom and I have absolutely no regrets about it. It just wasn't my thing.

#7 - When I get stressed out, my eyelashes fall out. Right now, my right eyelid is almost bald. Thankfully, they have already started to grow in again.

I'm not tagging anyone because it seems that this meme has made it's way around quite well without me so far.

Now on to Wiggle Iggle Friday. My absolute most favorite band ever is Incubus. I love them. Love. Absolute adoration. One of their songs actually inspired me in an almost life altering way, but I'm saving that for it's own post.

Here's The Warmth (Live version). It's one of my favs from them. Ah, hell, who am I trying to kid. Every song of theirs is one of my favs. Seriously, these guys are the shit. So take a big wiff.

Wiggle Iggle Friday is a flower from the lovely garden that is Frances' mind. Please visit her and drop her a note if you would like to join our legions.

Marriage, Part 2 UPDATED

2008-03-27T18:32:00.004-04:00

I wrote Marriage, Part 1 months ago. You can clicky the linky to refresh your memory or read it for the first time. If you ~~are too fucking lazy~~ would rather not, then here's a synopsis: Hubs and I are not legally wed. And I prefer it this way.

So, imagine my surprise when, the other day, Hubs says to me:

Hey...so, when are we gonna go to Vegas?

Um...Dunno, babe. (Me, face first in the new issue of US Weekly, only half listening to him)

Well...when are we gonna, ya know, have Elvis be our witness? I mean, it's gonna be 6 years that we're together...

Yeah...well....uh...umm...(Reality check. He's serious here. **gulp**)

Don't you love me, baby?

Of course, baby, of course I love you. It's just, well, we don't have the money to go now. We'll go soon. I promise. (See me dodging bullets Matrix style)

Meanwhile, secretly, I'm sweating like a pig. My heart is racing. He wants to get married? Really? Shit. I'm effing scared of marriage. Honestly, it didn't hit me until that very moment.

And, what am I scared of really? What would change? My last name. That's it. Everything else would be the same. Like I said in Marriage, Part 1, we are living as husband and wife already. So what's my problem?

This has really been bugging me. I love this man. He's the one for me. He tells me quite often actually, that I am his life. That me and the kids are the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn't live a second without us. I know he loves me. I know he always will. So, what the fuck is my problem? Why does the thought of marrying him scare me so much?

It's not the commitment. We've been committed to each other for almost 6 years. It's not lack of love. It's not lack of great sex. (I know, TMI, sorry) So, what then? I am the product of a broken home. Maybe that plays into it.

I dunno guys. I dunno what my problem is. All I know is that I have some soul searching to do. I need to get to the root of this issue. I obviously need to talk to Hubs about it. Of course, I can't talk to him yet because he has this ingenious way of being calm in such a zen-like way and then totally rationalizing everything so that even the biggest issue becomes a small one. That's not good because then I would be that much closer to being a married lady and we can't have that now can we...no, no, no.

**sigh**

I'm going crazy.

**UPDATE**

I spoke with him last night. He has no sense of urgency to get hitched. He's also very content with the way things are now. He was merely curious and so asked if it was a leap we would ever take. So, it seems I overreacted...again. I have a talent for doing that apparently.

**big sigh of relief**

The 2nd Anniversary of my 29th Birthday

2008-03-25T15:07:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I wasn't feeling well. Hubs stayed with the kids and let me have a day to do nothing but sleep. It was much needed, trust me.

There I was, curled up in bed with my cat, an America's Next Top Model marathon on the tube, and a shit load of my mom's homemade Easter candy. It was perfect.

Thru the walls I could hear my children laughing and singing along to whatever Nick Jr. cartoon was on at the moment. I heard Hubs singing along with them. And in that moment, I felt peace. That's the only way that I can describe it.

You see, I was so geared up for this day to be terrible. I was so ready for my body to be invaded by the icy feeling of creeping death as I reached this milestone in life. (Ok, so maybe I'm being a tad over-dramatic). I was ready to feel...well...old.

Instead, I felt calm. Peace. Like the wisdom and life experience of my ~~many~~ years just wrapped around me like a warm blanket and kept death's icy grip away. (Again with the dramatics...sheeesh) I felt accomplished. I felt content. I felt good.

Yesterday was my 30th birthday and although I thought it would pain me to say those words to anyone, let alone post them on the internet, it doesn't. I'm proud to be 30. I'm proud to officially enter womanhood. I'm proud to have lived my life the way I have up until this point. My accomplishments and my stumbles have all made me into the person that I am. And I like this person.

Happy Birthday to me.

Sunday Steals and Deals...with a twist

2008-03-23T10:39:00.008-04:00

He noticed a strange glow in the windows as he pulled into the driveway. It was late. Work had gone overtime. He was tired.

Wearily, he put his keys into he lock at the back door. He paused, hearing strange noises from inside.

"Oh yeah....that's nice."

"Right there...yeah....come on baby...right...there"

Instantly, the foggy haze of sleep deprivation gave way to rage. Someone was in his house. Someone was with his wife. He fumbles with the keys as his fury rises. His mind was racing. His blood pressure rising so quickly that even his ears were hot and flushed. He burst thru the door just in time to hear...

"Oh yeah...that's perfect...uh huh...oh...it's so...BIG...I don't think it will fit..."

In what seemed like three swift steps, he cleared the back room, and the kitchen. He found himself standing in front of the bedroom door. He didn't even need to go in. He already knew what was going on. The evidence was right in front of his face.

His wife was reorganizing the linen closet which was formerly completely overstuffed with CVS bargain shopping booty.

She just couldn't seem to get that last candle to fit without taking down the entire pile. It really was quite large.

Haha. Ok, so yeah, I'm aware at how ridiculous that was. But, it was funny too, no?? And, no, it didn't really happen like that. I DID reorganize my CVS booty, but hubby was in the next room laughing at me whilst I struggled with Glade candle towers and Ivory soap stacks. Seeing it all laid out in front of me was quite impressive. Want to see?

Here it is. My CVS booty. And that's not even all of it. Remember, some things have been opened and used. I actually started taking an inventory to post here along with the picture, but gave up. Do ya blame me?

Anyway. CVS shopping was light this week. As you can see, I really don't need anything. But, as I am a bargain shopping addict, I couldn't just not go.

I went to CVS once this week but did three transactions. The clerks are really good about it. They never give me any trouble.

Transaction 1:
4 Glade Sprays @ .99 cents ea = $3.96
1 Crest ProHealth Rinse = $3.49
1 Oral B Floss = $3.99
1 Glade Candle = $2.99
CVS coupon = -$5.00
Glade spray coupons = -$3.38
Glade candle coupon = -$1.00
Oral B coupon = -$1.00
ECB's used = $1.98
OOP expense: $2.59
Get $7.49 in ECB's

Transaction 2:
1 Maybelline Nail Polish: $3.99
1 Maybelline Lip Gloss: $5.79
1 Garnier Face wash: $5.99
1 Garnier Eye Cream: $12.99
CVS coupons = -$8.00
ECB's used = -$20.49
OOP expense = .29 cents
Get $10.00 ECB's

Transaction 3:
2 Clean & Clear Astringent = $8.58
1 Clean & Clear Face Wash = $7.99
CVS coupons = -$8.00
ECB's used = -$3.00
OOP Expense = $5.57
Get $5.00 ecb's

That's $59.76 worth of stuff. I paid $8.45. Not. Too. Shabby.

Happy Easter everyone!

Success

2008-03-22T11:43:00.002-04:00

The Confessional has been a great success.

Much thanks to all who confessed and read.

I will be linking to The Confessional on my side bar. This way, whenever anyone has something they want to get off of their chest, they have a place to do so. It's like this, you go out for a night on the town with the girls and end up making out with the bartender...confess...we want to know. You're secretly in love with your husband's sister...confess...that kind of stuff thrills us. You hate your nose and your chin and are planning on spending the family savings on plastic surgery...fabulous...unload about your guilt (or lack thereof) here.

Your deepest darkest secrets now have a home here on my blog. Welcome.

P.S.
Those of you with readers may notice my Bling and Blogroll posts coming up a lot within the next few days. I'm trying to update and make some changes. Sorry if it pisses you off. And, if you all get a chance, swing by my blogroll and see if your links work. If you're not there and should be then please let me know and I'll gladly fix it. Thanks. Kisses.

Coming later...Sunday Steals & Deals (hopefully...if I get a chance to go shopping)

A Challenge of Confessions

2008-03-20T11:35:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite songs ever is The Stranger by Billy Joel. This song has always intrigued me. It always gets me to thinking about the parts of ourself that we shield from everyone, even those that are closest to us. About how we all either have a secret or two, or a part of ourselves that we don't like to show.

Recently, this song became even more personal to me because I discovered a secret about someone who is very, very close to me. A secret that rocked me to my very core. I have also seen a facet of someone's personality that I never knew existed. Of course, these events got me to thinking about those select parts of ourselves, or tidbits of information that each and every one of us chooses to keep hidden. Those things that may shock, that may cause heart-ache, or even secrets that may devastate those that are closest to us.

So, I challenge you this, my dear readers: TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. Post them in comments. ANONYMOUSLY OF COURSE. No one is to attach their name to their words. (To further preserve the identity of each confessor, I will also be turning off my email alerts for comments, just in case. )

Free your soul of it's burden if only for the few moments that it takes to type the words. Purge your guilt and tell me everything. Then, read your peers' confessions and know that you are not alone, because we all have our little secrets. Yes, my pets, all of us, myself included. The title of my blog was no accident, afterall. So, I, too will post my secret(s), anonymously of course.

Chances are I won't be posting tomorrow. I want to give the blogosphere time to really soak this in. So, in honor of both this post and Wiggle-Iggle (Early) Friday, I present this to you. Enjoy it...and then spill your heart to me.

A little R&R

2008-03-18T10:12:00.002-04:00

I have little cuts and burns all over my hands courtesy of my (not so good) cooking prowess and my brandy new knife set. My cuticles are a mess. My toe nails haven't been painted in ages and, to be honest, could stand to be attacked by a clipper and a file. My skin is in dire need of some TLC and my hair is in desperate need of a conditioning treatment. So you know what that means...

AT HOME SPA DAY!!!

My favorite day ever! Yeah!

I'm a big goofball and love to mix my own beauty treatments. Nothing complicated. I just dig some stuff outta the fridge and pantry and start stirring.

My favorite concoctions are:

Egg white and lemon juice mask
Hot olive oil hair mask
Sugar and lemon face/body scrub
Milk, honey, and baby oil bath

After I put the kiddos to bed I get to mixing. First, I stick about 1/4 c of olive oil in the microwave. (I have long hair. You can use much less if your hair is shorter.) If I'm mixing an egg yolk into the oil then I only warm it slightly so I don't scramble the egg. I flip my hair over the sink and work the warm oil into the length of my hair. I used to go all the way to the root, but trust me, it's HELL to wash out so I don't go there anymore. Once the oil is worked in I secure my hair into a bun on the top of my head. I then wrap my head in a plastic bag and then a towel over that. The goal being to trap your body heat so that the oil can work it's magic.

Then I mix the scrub. Juice 1/2 lemon and simply stir in sugar. The thickness of the paste is up to you. Just remember, the thicker it is, the less it will drip all over. Sometimes I add vitamin E oil to this, sometimes I don't.

The egg white mask is simply egg white beaten with a bit of lemon juice. Yep, it's runny and gross, but I read about the wonders of it in a magazine when I was a teenager and have been using it ever since.

I draw my bath, add in some milk, honey, and baby oil and soak. After decompressing in the tub, I shower and use the body scrub. Once out of the bath/shower, I put on the egg white mask and proceed to tame my finger/toe nails.

So now I am buffed, soaked, masked, scrubbed, oiled, and polished.

Life is good.

Any homemade beauty rememdies you use?

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, Blogger Girl

2008-03-16T18:43:00.003-04:00

I am forgoing my usual Sunday Steals and Deals post to bring you some exciting news.

Ok, so it may not be exciting to anyone else but me. But still...

There is a girl out there in the blogosphere. A sweet girl, a smart girl, a funny girl, and an ever so interesting girl. A girl who would quickly cause a cat fight because all the rest of us would be competing for her attention should we all ever all be in the same room. A girl whom we all adore and love to read.

I formed an opinion of this girl since I started reading her. I made assumptions as to what her voice would sound like and the manner in which she would speak. My first impressions are usually right on. This time, however, I was so wrong.

There is something uniquely exciting about her. A rock star quality I would never guess she had based solely on the words she writes. An unexpected edgy-ness that gives the perfect salty counter balance to her sugary sweetness. I completely expected to end the conversation thinking, "Wow, she is just as nice as I thought she would be," but instead I thought, "Dude, that chick is fucking AWESOME!" See what I mean...Rock. Star. Quality.

She is everything you read and more. She is a laid back, down to earth, sweet as pie, breath of fucking fresh air and I am so happy that we finally got the opportunity to chat.

So, who is this girl I speak of?

It's none other than OhMommy herself. I am not even joking. I know what you're thinking too. You're thinking, "You got to talk to OhMommy! Dude, that chick is awesome!". Yes, yes...I know.

I've already chatted with Karen and now OhMommy. So that makes it official...two down, a coupla dozen to go. So who's next?

Google Juice...Is that like fruit punch??

2008-03-15T11:24:00.005-04:00

I've seen this all over the blogosphere. I thought it had something to do with bloggy etiquette. You know, you comment on my blog, I'll comment on yours. Then, I noticed that some bloggers linked their pic back to this site. That post, of course, led me to this site.

Once I read all about Google Juice I was all...huh, interesting...I don't get it.

But, I don't understand most of the technical internet speak I come across so I guess it really doesn't matter. What matters is that I like the idea of sharing my Google Juice. What can I say, I'm generous.

So, I have enabled this blog as DOFOLLOW for Google Spiders. Like I said, I really don't know what that means, but I know that it's good. Except for spam. I am now taking the risk of opening my doors to lots of spam. Thick cuts of luscious spam. Spam sammies. Spam and potatoes. Spam burgers. Spam, spam, spam. Get it? So, if I notice that spam is becoming a problem then I will moderate comments. It's just that simple.

Also, I notice that some peeps who have dofollow enabled also have comment policies. Something about removing comments that are just there for link value, but do not in any way add to the discussion. Again, I don't get it. Link value? Whatever. If I notice a comment that is bullshit, it's gone. Spam...gone. Get it? Good.

In the meantime, anyone reading who can enlighten me as to exactly what sharing Google Juice means, that would be great. All I know is that sharing means caring.

OH SHIT!...I forgot to add that I have been wanting to respond to everyone's comments via email. I love that wordpress gives that option. Hopefully blogger will too someday. Anyway. If you do not have an email address on your blog, would you mind shooting me an email (or leave it in comments if you like) so that I can contact you? Mucho thanks.

Toddler-isms and Wiggle-Iggle Friday

2008-03-14T09:36:00.005-04:00

L is at that stage where she likes to count everything. Fingers, toes, eyes, teeth, EVERYTHING. You have it, she's gonna count it. So it was no surprise to me yesterday, when she sat on my lap after I arrived home from work, pulled at my scoop neck shirt, and proceeded to count my boobs.

One booby (boobie? anyone have a preference here?)...Two booby...TWO BOOBIES!!!

In her counting frenzy she pulls my shirt down a bit lower. She catches a glimpse of the whole boob...

She pauses. I know she knows what it is. We've already named all of our body parts while in the bath, so I ask her, "What's that, L?"

She glances up at me with confidence and quickly says...

Oh, that's Mommy's HIPPO...

Yep, close enough.

As if that wasn't cute enough, she later shouts for me to get her a "bandage" because she has a boo-boo. Naturally, I first ask her to show me her boo-boo.

She does...

::photo deleted::

It's a teeny-tiny paper cut in the very tip of her middle finger. I gave her a bandage anyway. Somehow, I think she earned it.

And now on to Wiggle-Iggle Friday. This song is Spin Spin Sugar from the Sneaker Pimps. Now, you know I don't like much club type music. This song, however, I adore. Oh man, does this song bring back memories. Enjoy...

Much thanks to Frances for starting the Wiggle-Iggle Friday movement. If you would like to be part of it then pop on over there and let her know. Happy Friday!

A letter

2008-03-12T10:19:00.003-04:00

Dear Friend/Sometimes House Guest,

You are a nice person with a big heart. You are always smiling, happy, and pleasant to be around. You hardly ever stop by empty handed.

At least, that's how you used to be...

There is a line in the sand when it comes to entering someone else's home. A line you respect. A line you shouldn't cross. And yet you have time and time again. You have made yourself much too comfortable here. And while I used to enjoy your visits, now when you come over I roll my eyes and hope you plan on leaving soon.

You know that I quit smoking. Yet, once we are all asleep, you smoke in the computer room. Not only do you smoke, but you leave an ashtray full of butts for ME to empty in the morning. As a bonus, you also leave whatever half full beverage you were drinking the night before for me to pick up also. Thanks for that...really. And while using the exhaust fan and opening a window is polite, it's also polite to close everything up when you're done. After all, it is fucking freezing outside.

When you ask to stay over we usually don't mind. In the past, you were grateful. You cleaned up after yourself. You tried not to be a bother...or a creepy bastard. Now, when you ask to sleep over, you usually don't sleep. You take it upon yourself to reposition my computer chair to suit your comfort so that you can ~~jerk off in front of~~ fiddle around on the computer all night. I don't even want to know what you look at.

I lay out sheets, a blanket, etc. on the couch for you in case you do sleep. I expect you to use them. You don't. Call me crazy, but I would rather your sweaty ass head be placed on a pillow case so that I can ~~throw it away~~ wash it in scalding hot water after you've used it. I would also appreciate you using the sheet, but no, you don't. This, coupled with the fact that you throw your leg up and over the back of the couch, thereby pressing your nut sack against the cushions is just NASTY. Yes, I realize that your fully clothed...but still. It's not your couch, man, so stop molesting my furniture. It's just fucking disgusting.

I appreciate your offer to clean the bathroom. After all, you're here enough. Why shouldn't you contribute? However, if you're going to half-ass it, then don't bother. I assumed it was common knowledge that before cleaning a bathroom, you remove everything on the surfaces as well as the bathmats and rugs. You seemed to have missed this important step. There are now bleach spots all over my bath rug. You also ruined my hubby's clothes that were lying on the floor. Again, bleach spots. Dude, wtf??

You are not my man. I do not owe you an explanation of my moods. If you come over and notice that I'm not very happy that day, then back the fuck off. Do not ask me a thousand times if I'm angry with you. Do not mock my pouty face. Eventually, I'm gonna snap and freak the fuck out on you. As a matter of fact, you should take my foul mood as a cue to vacate the premises immediately. Seriously, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to recognize when someone is not in the mood for company.

I think this just about covers it all. Watch your step around here, dude. You're walking on thin ice.

**NOTE**
He doesn't actually fondle himself in front of the computer. He plays internet pool (9 ball). My hubby also makes it a point to stay up later than usual because he's there. But still, knowing that he's up all night on the internet is suspect...don't ya think?

I don't want to give the impression that he's some kind of perv. He's not. He's just a bachelor friend of ours who has gotten a little too comfortable in our home and so has taken to doing things here the way he does while at his own home.

And, he's not here all the time. He just stays over occasionally because he lives really far away from where he works. Occasionally being once every two/three weeks. Still, occasionally is turning out to be too often for me. I just can't stand him being here at all anymore. Hubby agrees. He's a pain in the ass.

Like I said, he used to be very polite. It's just that he seems to have made himself too comfortable. You're all right...I'ma need to freak out on his raunchy ass soon.

Oh yeah...

2008-03-11T15:40:00.001-04:00

Talk about hitting the nail right on the head:

Who is Your Ideal TV Boyfriend?

More on Gossip Girl. Created by BuddyTV

Come to mamma...

This is the thanks you get

2008-03-11T00:45:00.004-04:00

I asked L to let me take a picture of her so that I could thank all of my friends who gave me advise on how to cure her diaper rash.

As she sat, bare bottomed on the sofa, this is the best look of gratitude she could come up with:

::photo deleted::

Attitude...yes. Gratitude...not so much.

**UPDATE**

Yes, her little bottom cleared up. Everyone seemed to say the same thing: NO DIAPER. So, we had lots of nekkid baby time after I got home from work. Couple that with a Maalox and diaper cream cocktail slathered on the hiney before bedtime and you get a rash free bottom in the morning. Yep...turns out Huckdoll had the golden ticket. A bit of Googling last night showed that for diaper rash caused by diarrhea, a mixture of Aquaphor and Maalox was best. Apparently, Maalox neutralizes the acidity of the poop while Aquaphor heals. I didn't have Aquaphor so I used Butt Paste which is my usual diaper cream of choice. (Butt Paste has always worked quickly for me in the past.)

Thanks so much to all who offered up advise. My kiddos have been lucky enough to be virtually diaper rash free so I really didn't know what to do with a rash that was so bad. Everyone was so helpful. You guys are the best!

Mommy, my butt hurts...

2008-03-10T14:39:00.002-04:00

We all seem to have a touch of some sort of stomach bug here. It's very, very mild thankfully. No other symptoms other than a bit more frequent bathroom trips and diaper changes.

Yesterday morning, my 2 1/2 year old, L, woke up with a dirty diaper. Very unusual for her. She hasn't pooped during the night in months and months. But, like I said, we all have a little bug so I didn't think much of it. Unfortunately, it seems like she may have gone some time in the middle of the night and therefor slept for hours in a dirty diaper. This, of course, resulted in her having a rosy red behind. Nothing a bit of ointment can't fix, right?

Wrong.

This morning, same thing. Only, she was crying in pain. Her dirty diaper really irritated her already sore behind to the point of extreme pain. I couldn't even use diaper wipes to clean her, I had to stand her in the shower and just rinse her off with her screaming her head off the entire time.

So, my dear mommy friends. Has anyone experienced this with their children before? What's the best way for me to handle it? Frequent diaper changes and lots of diaper rash cream? Or does someone know of a "secret mommy cure"? My poor little baby is in so much pain from this. I feel so terrible! She just keeps saying, "Mommy, my butt hurts."

Sunday Steals and Deals

2008-03-09T15:01:00.003-04:00

I plan on doing some more CVS-ing this afternoon, however, I went yesterday to take advantage of some sales that were ending. Man, did I do well.

I needed diapers and toilet paper so rather than spend money outright for those items I tried to work them into my CVS-ing. Worked pretty well actually! I ended spending a bit more out of pocket because of the added items, but I still spent less than I would have if I bought them at the grocery store.

I went to CVS two days in a row. The first day I only did one transaction. You know, like a normal person would. Heh. The second day I was lucky enough to have a really nice cashier who let me do four seperate transactions so that I could maximize my savings.

Here's the breakdown:

First trip:

2 - Oral B Cross Action Toothbrushes @ 4.99 each = $9.98

2 - Glade Scented Oil Candles @ 2.99 each = $5.98

CVS coupon = -$5.00

Glade coupon = -$2.00

Oral B coupon = -$2.00

ECB's used = -$6.00

Total oop expense (including taxes) = $1.31

Get $11.98 ECB's

Note: These items are not in the above picture.

Second trip:

1st Transaction:

2 - Mach 3 Disposable Razor 3 pack @ 7.99 each = $15.98

1 - Jumbo package Pampers = $8.99

1 - packet toddler wipes = $1.49

CVS coupon = -$5.00

2 Mach 3 coupons = -$6.00

Pampers coupon = -$1.00

ECB's used = -$11.98

Total oop expense (including tax) = $2.48

Get $10.00 ECB's

2nd Transaction:

2 - Bottles Vitamin C @ $2.99 each = $5.98

2 - Garnier Face Products @ $5.99 each = $11.98

CVS coupon = -$5.00

2 - Garnier coupons = -$2.00

ECB's used = -$10.00

Total oop expense (including tax) = .96 cents!

Get $10.98 ECB's

3rd Transaction:

1 - Glade Wisp Flameless Candle = $9.99

1 - 4 pack Charmin = $3.99

CVS coupon = -$5.00

Charmin coupon = -$1.00

Glade coupon = -$5.00

Total oop expense (including tax) = $3.33

Get $2.00 ECB's

4th Transaction:

1 - John Frieda Hair Glaze = $9.99

1 - John Frieda Leave In Cond = $5.99

CVS coupon = -$5.00

ECB's used = -$10.98

Total oop expense (including tax) = FREE

Get $5.00 ECB's

That makes a grand total of $8.08 spent out of pocket for $90.34 worth of stuff!!

I also saved $45.58 on my grocery shopping this week.

As if that isn't enough, I'm planning on making yet another CVS run today.

I'm addicted. But it feels so good.

A coupla things

2008-03-07T10:00:00.003-05:00

My darling Frances over at Strange Delights From Under the Lilac Tree has started a movement called Wiggle-Iggle Fridays. Now, I haven't really jumped on any other bandwagon in the blogosphere regarding any of those day-of-the-week postings, but this is too good to pass up. Plus, Frances is one of my addictions and I can't for the life of me figure out why she isn't a blogosphere GIANT by now.

Anyway. I give to you one of the most perfect songs of the 90's. You've probably all heard it already, but this song is one of my favs. It just hits me in my gut. I can listen to this song over, and over, and over. It's #1 Crush by Garbage as seen in the movie Romeo and Juliet. Enjoy.

Also, I need to mention that The Bad Mommy Blog was nominateed for The South African Blog Awards. Some of you may know that I am a contributer to this site so I am especially pleased. I voted for them. And so should you. When you have a moment. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Thanks.

Thank you Mr. Weiner

2008-03-06T12:49:00.003-05:00

TRUE STORY:

There is a man who calls my job. His name is Mr. Wiener. Yes, that is really his name.

Mr. Wiener is fabulous and the best blogger fodder ever. Not because he's nice, because he's not, not because he's funny, because he's not, but because he's a low talker. He's one of those people that you have to really listen to in order to hear them...you have to really listen OR you have to ask him to repeat his name a billion times. Heh. You know where this is going, don't you?

Our coversation goes something like this:

Good afternoon, So-and-so's office...

Is Mr. XYZ in? I need to speak with him. (Mr. Wiener is grumpy as usual)

May I ask who's calling please?

This is Randomfirstname Weiner.

*Me, silently giggling like a school girl* Excuse me?

Weiner! My name is Randomfirstname Wiener!

I'm sorry sir, but I just can't seem to hear you. We must have a bad connection...

WIENER!! WIENER!! MY NAME IS WIENER!!

Oh, ok Mr.....um....Wiener, hold on...

**Place call on hold and laugh hysterically to get it all out of my system before having to say this...**

I'm sorry, Mr. Wiener, but Mr. XYZ isn't in the office at the moment. May I take a message?

Um...ok

Great...so can you spell your last name for me?

WIENER! Like the...hot dog...WIENER!! W-I-E-N-E-R, WIENER!!

Do you think he knows I'm fucking with him?

A Haiku...and it's not even Friday

2008-03-05T14:41:00.002-05:00

So where have I been?
I have no inspiration...
I'm just so tired.

Whew...that took a lot out of me. Seriously though, I have zero motivation lately. I tried posting for the past two days and just stared blankly at the screen. The words just wouldn't come. And rather than post crap, I chose to post nothing.

Actually, this post itself is a whole lotta nothing. But alas, I felt I had to post just so everyone would know that my fingers weren't broken ;)

Hopefully, tomorrow the seeds in my brain will blossom into a thousand brilliant ideas, just begging to be plucked and arranged into breath-takingly beautiful arrangement of words and phrases for all to enjoy.

But, until then, there is only silence.

Deals this week

2008-03-02T18:20:00.004-05:00

Today I ventured into Walgreen's with my sister and both my kids in tow. And let me just say that the experience in general was a pain in the ass. Expecially the ringing process. I'm pretty sure the clerk wanted to kill us...slowly. However, the manager was very nice, so at least that was good.

I'm too exhausted to go into details about my shopping experience, but I will say this, when it comes to shopping at Walgreen's make sure you always have more items than coupons and make sure you ring all items that should be giving back register rewards seperately.

Because of register difficulties and annoyances I didn't do as well as I hoped, but it was still a lucrative trip. Here's the breakdown:

1st transaction:

3 bottles Herbal Essences shampoo/conditioner

2 Secret Platinum Deodorants

1 Olay Body Wash

OOP expense: $15.07

Received $12 in register rewards

2nd transaction:

1 Gillette Fusion Phenom Razor

1 Venus Embrace Razor

2 2-packs Olay Bar Soap

1 box cookies (hey, I had to keep the kiddos from wreckin' the joint)

OOP expense: $2.75

Received $5 in register rewards

3rd transaction:

2 packs Energizer batteries

OOP expense: $4.68

Will receive $5 more after rebate

Total OOP: $22.50

Total saved: $34.46 (including rebate)

Go me.

What do ya mean just leave him alone???

2008-02-28T16:17:00.007-05:00

I don't know how many of you know this, but my husband has a problem. It's called L.A.H.S. In other words, he has Lazy Ass Husband Syndrome. Yes, tragic, I know.

He has suffered from it for quite some time, but recently has taken a turn for the worse. And of course, his worsened condition has caused me to develop N.B.W.D. Otherwise known as, Nagging Bitch Wife Disease.

So, last night, I call my oldest and dearest friend Kay. Now, Kay and I have a special friendship. We are both very self absorbed, you see, and will literally go months and months without contact. But when we do finally speak or hang out, it's like we haven't missed a beat. We both understand that our lives are very different and very busy, and so we have adjusted our relationship accordingly. She seriously knows me better than anyone. She will literally snatch the thoughts out of my head and take the words right out of my mouth.

Anyway, I explained my situation to her and was absolutely SHOCKED at the advise she gave me. She said, "Luna, ignore him. That little voice in your head that says nag, nag, nag, bitch, bitch, bitch...turn it off. Do what you gotta do, even if it means doing EVERYTHING all by yourself. And, here's the catch, don't bitch, complain, or accuse him of being lazy AT ALL."

And I'm all...WHAA???

She then added that seeing me do everything, without his help, and without bitching, complaining, or placing blame may just be the kick in the ass that he needs. She said it makes them wonder why you stopped nagging. It makes them feel good because you're leaving them alone, yet terrible because...well, because now you're leaving them alone. It's the reverse psychology way of making him say to himself, "Holy shit, she can do EVERYTHING. She doesn't need me at all, does she? Wow. I better get my ass in gear before she leaves."

She said to stop giving him a chance to redeem himself because I'm only setting myself up for disappointment. Instead, I should give myself a chance to prove that I don't need him as much as I think I do.

Ahh-haa...so now I'm starting to understand...

But, at first I thought she was crazy. I mean...I'm really effing tired all the time. I really do everything. It's just not fair. He lives here and makes a mess too, right? He can't even clean up after himself and I've had enough. We fight on a daily basis because of this. I'm sick of his lazy ass and he's sick of my nagging mouth. We just haven't gotten along and it's making me miserable. Is that really any way to live? But, on the other hand, how can I let this ruin an otherwise good relationship?

The more I though about it, the more I realized that maybe it was worth a shot. Obviously nagging and bitching and complaining isn't working. Would it really hurt to just lay off him for a while and see how he responds? So, I'm taking her advise. This is gonna be tough. I'm not one to keep my mouth shut.

So, today, I officially started Operation Just Shut The Fuck Up And Do It.

It went something like this:

When the kids cried that they were hungry and he was sitting on his ass watching tv and I was just about to get in the shower, I put my towels down and cooked for them. When he left his empty cereal bowl, dirty spoon, and empty box of cereal on the counter, I cleared it without saying a word. Oh, and his underwear that he leaves ALL OVER THE HOUSE, I picked up every pair without so much as an audible sigh. After work, I vacuumed. The kitchen is spotless. The dishwasher is empty. The stove is clean. The toys are off of the living room floor and put away. The kids are bathed. The sheets are changed. AND I managed to make dinner from scratch and bake a pan of brownies. I really do feel like fucking Super Woman! I've done more in the past 3 hours than I have done all week. Amazing.

This is going to be an interesting experiment. If nothing comes of it then at least I can say that it provided me with some blogging fodder...and a really, really clean house.

I'll keep you posted.

Keeping it real

2008-02-27T20:36:00.006-05:00

I've been such an ungrateful bitch lately. Some of my bloggy buddies have bestowed some glorious awards upon me and I haven't even thanked them. I've also been tagged for memes by some other bloggy buddies and have yet to participate.

::hangs head in shame::

Yep, procrastination in action. I'm terrible. Lemme just correct this all right now, yes.

I would like to thank fellow Jersey girl and therefore part of the Sisterhood of Awesome-ness, Stella, for giving me these great awards:

**She's not just a member...she's our president. Just so ya know.**

I would also like to thank Kim and her long, manly arms for giving me this:

**Kim, I was only joking and poking fun a little bit...please don't reach your long ass arms thru my computer screen and strangle me. Thanks.**

And I'd like to thank Amy for giving me this:

**It's not as cool as the pink fridge, but I'll take it. (Have you guys seen her pink fridge award?? Go and check it out. You're soooo gonna want it too!)**

Wow. Can you feel the love around here. I can. It's lovely. Heh. Is there anything or anyone that I overlooked? Please don't hesitate to ream my ass out if I forgot about you. Thanks =)

As for the memes...Miss and Karen Meg both tagged me for that meme about your favorite old posts. You know, the one about family, one about friends, blah, blah, blah...Yeah, well I already did that one. You can find it here if you so desire.

Also, Jill tagged me for that book meme. Well, sweetpea, the only book near me right now is the dictionary and my ass is way too lazy to get up and pull a random book down off of my book shelf.

But, since I don't want to leave you all empty handed I've come up with something a bit interesting. The Keeping It Real meme. I will list a handful of things about me. Things that are embarrassing. Things that you may not tell people out right when you first meet them. Things your husband only learns after years and years together...you know, after he's too dependant on you to leave you. Heh. Here goes...

1. I am not photogenic at all. Seriously. I mean, I think I'm cute in person, but my face just doesn't photograph well. My eyes are big and usually photograph "buggy", my nose is a bit round at the tip, but in pictures I look like Rudolph's long lost two-legged relative or something. My cheeks either photograph too round or my face shape in general photographs too oval. It's weird. I've learned how to cheat the camera by holding my face at an angle, but it takes quite a few tries for it to look good. Seriously, those cute pics of me that I posted...the ones I get so many compliments on...yeah, it took me like 50 shots before I could get ONE good one. Really. I'm not kidding. I just don't take good pictures.

2. If I'm laying in bed and I fart, I always lift the covers to see if it's a smelly one. And I'm disappointed if it isn't.

3. I hate washing my hair and will go as long as possible between washings. I shower regularly, but usually only wash my hair once maybe twice a week. I actually like it better when it's dirty and greasy. It's a very wavy, beachy, surfer girl with salt water dreads, 90's grunge type thing. It's actually pretty rad, but not exactly a look you can rock for a front desk reception job, ya know.

4. I also hate shaving.. I wait till I have passed the point of fuzzy and am entering manly territory. Seriously. I'm just that fucking lazy. Hubby has taken to calling me "Chia"...as in Ch-ch-ch Chia Pet. Yeah, it's that bad.

5. I drool in massive quantities when I sleep. I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

6. I also snore really loudly. I think I have a deviated septum...whateverthehell that is.

7. I burp loudly, often, and without apology. It's a terrible habit that I'm trying to break. Most of the time, I don't even realize I burped so loud. It just happens. Once, I made an entire diner stop eating and stare at my table. I was having lunch with my hubby and my brother. The diners and the employees all thought the burp came from one of them because it was SO LOUD AND POWERFUL that no one thought it could possibly have come from me.

Ok...I'ma stop right there. That's already too much information. I'm not even gonna tag anyone. I'm just going to dare all of my bloggy buddies to put themselves out there and keep it real by listing the not so nice things about you. It can be 1 thing or 10 things. It doesn't matter. I'm soooo interested to see who tackles this one.

Secrets of a Black Heart

GREAT GIFT IDEA!!!

Wiggle Iggle Friday

To the Jerk Who Hit My Car...

NCLB - A PSA

The Update Post

Gearing Up For a Comeback

Peace Out

Caution...Way Too Much Information

IMHO...Random Thoughts on Random Issues

True Love

By the way...

What up Party People?

I'm tired...

Ode to Rubbernecking on the NJ Parkway

Lil' Stinker

Reason #5 to hate Pregnancy...BABY SHOWERS

Reasons to Love Pregnancy #1

Mystery: Part IV

Mystery: Part III

Mystery: Part II

Mystery: Part I

It's Friday, bitches

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming

Fer Serious

Karma

Wiggle Iggle Friday

Keeping It Real

Movin' on (up?)

MIA

Lakshmi

Wiggle Iggle Blog Blast for Education Friday

I dream

She has made a full recovery...

I'm still here...

Thrifty Chick Link

My Hubs Broke the Computer!

Thrifty Chick News

Sunday Steals and Deals

Wiggle Iggle Friday

Best Chest Contest...I'm not even kidding

For those about to buzz...

Terrible Tuesday - Wrath

Blog for Education

Thrifty Chick Tutorials - Vol 3

Wiggle Iggle Friday

Holy Inappropriate-ness *Updated: RETRACTION*

Terrible Tuesday - Greed

Wiggle Iggle Friday

The Kindness of "Strangers"

Meh

Terrible Tuesday - Envy

Sunday Steals and Deals

Thrifty Chick Tutorials Vol. 2

**Cough** **Cough** **Sneeze**

Last Day to Get Your $25!!

Terrible Tuesday - Sloth **Updated**

Sorry for the Reader Overload

Case File: Mystery of the Midnight P@nty R@id

Wiggle Iggle Friday

The Hottie in the Helmet

Terrible Tuesday - Gluttony

Sins post coming soon...

Something to write about...YES!

Thrifty Chick Tutorials, Vol 1

Sunday Steals and Deals

Wiggle Iggle Friday Saturday

Half Neekid in the City

Sunday Saturday Steals and Deals

Wiggle Iggle Effing Friday

The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back

Complete and Utter Randomness

Sunday Steals and Deals

Wiggle Iggle Friday

In defense of my CVS addiction

Sunday Steals and Deals

Wiggle Effing Iggle Drunken Friday

Que Paso a Casa de Luna

I need a wife

Sunday Steals and Deals

Holy Inappropriate-ness Updated: RETRACTION

Cough Cough Sneeze

Terrible Tuesday - Sloth Updated

Marriage, Part 2 UPDATED